Can't stand stepfamilies.
I'm going to cut to the chase with this one. I have a huge Barbie collection from when I was a little girl. So many Barbie dolls, clothes, accessories, furniture, etc. that you can imagine! I recently retrieved the boxes from storage and showed everything to my fiancee since finding out we're having a baby girl in February. I'm so excited to hand down my collection to her one day that I just couldn't help myself. Anyway, this past weekend SD2 was here as usual, and he asked if she could play with my Barbie dolls (not in front of her, obviously). I honestly felt heartbroken...like, NO I don't SD2 playing with the things that so rightfully belong to MY daughter! So I, as politely as I could, just said "(SD2) will have to ask our daughter that, since they're hers." It's not my fault his kid doesn't have any Barbie dolls to play with...isn't that my fiancee's and her mother's job to provide those things? I realize she's just a kid but, come on, you can't expect me to share something so sentimental with someone that's not even going to respect them. She has tons of toys at her mother's house therefore I REFUSE to feel bad about the toy issue here. Am I wrong for feeling this way?! I feel like a freak getting upset over something so trivial as Barbie dolls, but I stand my ground on this one. What's mine is mine.
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Does she not have any toys at
Does she not have any toys at your place? Regardless, I would feel the same way. Those are sentimental to you and you're saving them for YOUR daughter someday. SD's mom can share HER crap with her. Not wrong or selfish considering shes only 2 so she really doesn't know how to play with barbies anyway
Oh and congrats on the new baby!
She definitely has other toys
She definitely has other toys here. It's just the fact that she recently wants to play with Barbie dolls and I just so happen to have a huge stash sitting in the basement. I agree with you when you say SD's mom can share her crap with her. I shouldn't be expected to.
Ugh, thank you for letting me
Ugh, thank you for letting me know I'm not alone. Sometimes the emotions that step parenting evokes within me make me wonder if I'm absolutely crazy! Then I come on here and I'm reassured that I'm perfectly normal ;). With me being 5 months pregnant, I am definitely not in the emotional state to divide the toys I saved for my daughter with SD2. So, I know how you feel with that one.
It's the fact that I had
It's the fact that I had specifically saved this collection to give to MY daughter when she's a child, and now I'm being asked to rob myself of that experience by sharing them with my step daughter first. I don't have anything against SD2, I just think it's insensitive to even be asked this question when he knows I want to give them to my daughter. If my daughter wants to share them with SD2, that's great! I don't mind at all. It's just the fact that as long as my daughter is unborn/not of age, then that collection is staying in boxes. End of story.
I understand how you feel.
I understand how you feel. I'm Pagan and my daughter is Wiccan. SD7 and SD9 are being raised Christian. I have some religious things of mine that I'm planning on giving to BD16 when she moves out. When skids saw the rocks we use for meditating, the marble mortar and pestle, and the VERY old bowl that was my grandmothers, they wanted to play with them. I said EFF NO. DH looked at me like 'they're just rocks'. Ummm...no, no they aren't. I finally told him they were spell-charged (they aren't). This is stuff that is passed down from generation to generation. Skids aren't touching it.
I'm also finally making my daughter a quilt. I hand stitched my son one when he was a baby, and decided to make my daughter one now as she's old enough to care for it (and girls care more about that sort of thing). I'm just waiting for the skids to ask me to make them one. No, no I will not. I have one my grandmother made that was passed down and I know my daughter will pass them down to her children. So I guess if they want a hand made quilt that takes MONTHS to make, their mother can make them one.
Hide the barbies or just flat out say no. They are YOURS, not DFs or his daughters.
Buy the 2 year old a Barbie
Buy the 2 year old a Barbie (or similar) and let your fiance see for himself what happens. Make sure it doesn't come with shoes for her to swallow.
I've already told him that
I've already told him that she's way too young to play with Barbie dolls anyway. But, that's a good idea. Guaranteed from one weekend of use the poor doll will look like she was in a combat zone. Then he'll understand why I don't want her ruining my collection!
Dont let your fiance know its
Dont let your fiance know its a new doll, then he wont think you are being funny towards his daughter, you do know however when your child is old enough a whole new mess will come out of your child having lovely barbies and his not. good luck your going to need it!
One of my biggest regrets was
One of my biggest regrets was giving SD my doll cradle that I had kept for 25 years. The 8 year old brat sat in it and broke it all to hell. I should have saved it for my DD. I did save my dolls and doll clothes for DD. I will never give SDs any of my family heirlooms. My grandmother left me 14 handmade quilts. Skids will not get one of them. I will save for my DD, future DIL and future grandkids.
I gave my SD some jewelry
I gave my SD some jewelry that was mine when I was younger (nothing expensive but some sentimental value), and told her she could keep it in her room at our place and wear it when she's with us but I didn't want her taking it to her mom's, since her brother and sister would probably lose or ruin it (or her mom would get rid of it just to spite me, but I didn't say that). I said if I find out that you took something home, I will take the collection back and save it for my own children someday. Well, I guess she didn't listen because once when we were picking SD up at her mom's, BM said something like "I was so touched that you gave SD your baby ring. She wears it on her necklace and never takes it off. It means a lot to her." I was thinking "What is she talking about? I never had a baby ring." So I said I had a few really special rings and asked SD to show me which one she had. She looked really embarrassed because she knew she wasn't supposed to take my jewelry home with her.
It turns out it wasn't even a ring! It was a crown from either a Barbie or a She-ra doll I had when I was younger. I guess it was in with my rings. I'm not even sure it's metal - it may be plastic. I don't know who concocted the story about it being my "baby ring", whatever that is, but luckily she picked the one thing that literally had no value, sentimental or otherwise. Out of principle though, I did talk to SD about how she broke the rule, so I would have to take away the collection, which I did. However, I said I would let her keep my "baby ring" that she put on her necklace since it meant so much to her, but she had to promise to guard it with her life.
Still cracks me up a little...but a good lesson for me. I should NEVER have entrusted those things to her in the first place. What if she had taken something that actually had some importance to me and then lost it? I can't risk that. So now I'm saving them for if I have a daughter or grand-daughter. Or if I don't end up having children, I have two lovely nieces.