Should being this mean feel this good?
Last night while my DH was out of the house I went through the objects left behind by my SD18 when she so rudely departed the house last summer. I stuffed everything in the trunk of my car and have thus far managed to give away her Barbie doll collection and accessories, stuffed animals and all of her bedding. I am collaborating on a garage sale with a friend next weekend and whatever I don't give away I will sell. Now, I just have to figure out how to get her bike out of the garage. . .
To catch you all up, she got married in December. I managed to get through it and even thanked the groom's parents for putting on a nice wedding. We were not asked to participate in any way, so I gave credit where credit was due. Anyway, the happy couple accepted our generous cash gift and a laptop that I had configured for them. Hmmmm. . . would think that maybe they could have at least given us a Christmas card. They dropped by Christmas afternoon and that was the only time we saw them after the wedding and they were in town for a week. My DH had a birthday a couple of weeks ago and the selfish little witch didn't acknowledge it in any way. She had better hope she NEVER sees me again because she will not be able to withstand my verbal assault!
I have washed my hands of her and I am having the time of my life getting rid of her shtuff! }:) }:) }:) }:) }:)
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What does
your Dh think about you giving away her things?
Why not just put in a box
Why not just put in a box and ship it to her...even though you dont like her, SD may want some of those things for her daughter someday, and she will only have you to blame for throwing it out.
SD sounds to young to get married, so she might be nieve and selfish, but that does not mean you have to stoop to her level
People change thru life, years from now she might grow up..dont give her a reason to be angry with you .
We don't have an address or a phone number for her
so I have no way of letting her know to get the stuff or to send it to her. Her blaming me is the least of my worries. When she snuck out of the house while we were at work she left behind a number of things, to include a wedding picture of us with her. She had numerous hooded sweatshirts and the only one she left was from my alma mater.
Im sorry I didnt know she
Im sorry I didnt know she left your alma mater sweatshirt
I never thought about this issue with the SKIDS stuff
I know it's come up with BMs stuff and I tried to give back everything that was hers, the last item being her journalism portfolio which DH wished to throw out. Honestly, BM is inconsistent about sentimental value to things and SD has adapted the same philosophy, often breaking things or ripping them up that she associates with the person she is angry with.
I am way overly sentimental with things, too much for my own good so I would lean toward the opinion of those who said box them up and send them. But from what you describe, SD seems to have left them without looking back or caring so perhaps she falls into the non-materialistically sentimental person. I think a lot of this generation are that way. It's good on some levels (hopefully they won't need to have people clean sweep their homes for them because they are hoarders) but also am thinking that they are this way because they have attached NO value to things and find them completely disposable/replaceable with no need to take care of them.
Still...If it were me I'd box them up and send them off and let her deal with giving or throwing them away. That was my choice with BM's stuff. If she refused to put it in her car when picking up SD, I gave it to Goodwill.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
When my SD19
moved out when she was 17, I told her then to take everything she wanted with her, b/c she would not be allowed to come back to get anything else. I had a nice garage sale. The money from that yard sale is still in my posession and I intend on giving to her baby when it grows up.
What a great idea!
I am going to do that, even though I don't expect to get much for the stuff she left. I can't ask for money for the things I have already given away, but will save $ from the rest.
Cheap therapy
When the adult skids were booted from the house, they left their rooms full of junk (including the charming porno pics taken of them). I let the junk sit for a couple of months, then took a day and made a HUGE pile of their stuff on the garage floor. The pile took up most of the garage--about 1 dumpster worth of stuff--all junk.
I then told H to invite the brats over to pick through the pile and take away anything they wanted. Another month went by. Then I asked him again--and again.
Finally, I had the biggest and most cathartic yard sale ever! What wasn't sold was thrown away. It felt soooooo good to finally get everything associated with those disgusting people OUT of my home! I had lived with their crap for years and it felt incredible to dump pile after pile into the trash.
By getting rid of their junk I was also getting rid of them, in a way. This yard sale saved me months worth of therapy bills.
Cathartic release is what I am going for and I also think I may
achieve it by doing this. I already feel better having given all the Barbie stuff to a young single mother with a daughter. The bedding is going to my assistant and his significant other for their new tiny guest room in their trailer. I think it is my turn to be happy and get out form under this cloud of my SD and the way she has behaved.
I would do the same if in your shoes.
You don't have an address for her, she took everthing she wanted when she left, and she is married now.
If she ever comes back for something I would just say you threw it out, what were you supposed to do? She did not bother to even leave an address or phone number. Its not your fault.
In my case, I would just drop everything off at the BMs house since we know where she lives. If she refused to take it I would then ask for SDs number.....if I could not get it I would give all the stuff away to.