Why would SD13 do this?
I have not posted in a while it seems. I have been lurking and commenting on some things. I did get tired of posting such anger. Tonight I am posting disappointment.
SD13 has given me trouble for a long time. After going to intensive therapy and working with a psychiatrist, I am feeling much better. Tonight what happened made me very sad, not angry, as it normally would.
I have been monitoring our kids texts since the beginning of the year. We caught SS15 in smoking cigarettes and pot. It took some time, and me giving my BF a big push, but it has been dealt with. SS15 is doing much better and is a joy to be around again, for now.
Of course we deal with BM getting to be super parent since she is not the custodial parent. But what I saw tonight broke my heart.
SD13 told BM that my daughter stole her chips that her dad bought her because she accidentally poured out BD12's drink.
Nothing big right? Well, she also said, I HATE THEM!!! Ok, I can deal. But this was also after we had a good time at the store and at dinner. We were laughing and such...
Then I asked BD12 where she got the chips, she had no money, and I did not buy them for her. She said that SD13 gave them to her. I asked SD13 and she confirmed it.
What the hell???
I know it may not seem like a big deal, but seriously, why do that? Which is the truth? Is she trying to have BM hate us? It hurts because I have worked so hard on myself to improve the quality of living here. I guess I don't want to believe SD13 is capable of this.
I also see SD13 texting her cousins that she hates BD12 and that she can't wait to get away from us. Then she plays with my daughter. My daughter says that SD13 is her best friend.
I don't know what to do. I know that girls that age do this kind of thing. It is just breaking my heart for me and my daughter.
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Comments
13 year old girls talk a load
13 year old girls talk a load of bitchy nonsense, I would not take it too seriously. Even bio kids go through a stage of hating their parents in their early teens, it is part of the process of separating and becoming independent. Plus your SD has the added complication of needing BM to know she is still loyal to her, not you.
Honestly, just take it all with a pinch of salt.
I deal with this all the time
I deal with this all the time and my SD is only 8. Basically, they feel the need to feed their mother's neurosis. SD8 learned long ago that bashing our house makes her mother happy and that saying she had fun here makes her mother angry. The result is that SD8 fabricates / embellishes bad experiences with her and then her mother is happy and also feels so sorry for her precious baby that she buys her toys. Plus, they don't think we'll ever know so they don't think they're hurting anyone. Now understanding that doesn't make it easier to handle and I've basically stopped doing nice things for / with her. I don't like her and the effort I put in before was out of obligation, not love. If all she is going to do is lie to her mother about it, I will spend my time doing things I like.
I agree I have spent a lot of
I agree I have spent a lot of time trying to bond with my SD 12. She recently told me that she doesn't want to have a relationship with me or my bd8. That's fine but I will no longer take u anywhere buy u anything. You don't have to like me but u will respect me and follow the rules. Yesterday she made a face at me on the sly when I asked her if she had done what I told her to do. I made her stay inside instead of out with her friends. She calls BM crying that she didn't do anything and I'm being mean to her. BM doesn't ask dh what happened, she texts him what's going on over there do I need to kick sm ass! Dh called her and stood up for me! Told her that SD12 is constantly being disrespectful. SM is not perfect but she is not mean to Sd12. He also said that she needed to chill with threatening people. BM is just now living in town again so this is not over, but it was nice to hear dh stick up for me.
Thank you Ladies. I figured I
Thank you Ladies. I figured I was just being sensitive, but it was so obvious that one of them was a lie.
Well, add this to the trials and tribulations of being a step-parent!
Well, I found out the truth.
Well, I found out the truth. I am sorry to say that I asked my youngest daughter about it and she confirmed that SD13 was NOT lying.
They did have a fight, but apparently she did give my daughter the chips.
I feel so low for this.