Happy *others Day to me I suppose
I am renaming Mothers Day "Others Day" because once again, I have been ignored by my DH. No card. No "Happy Mother's Day" in the morning. No kiss. Nothing.
I suppose this day is for Others, and not me.
This morning I got up to mow the lawn (big lawn), because it needed mowing and I knew DH wouldn't do it. DH slept in, of course. Yesterday he had started the mower, and announced to me "that it runs." I suppose that was a hint...?
I had planned a lunch at my BD12's favorite restaurant, because her birthday is today (born on Mother's Day in 1996--how cool is that? :-)). Of course I drove DH and BD12 and GF. I guess DH was embarrassed that GF saw I had mowed the lawn on Mother's Day, and in the car DH announced twice that "On Mother's Day you can do anything you want and you like to mow the lawn."
I was completely insulted and just wanted him to SHUT UP. I guess I like to clean the kitchen, scoop the cat box, do the dishes and wash the laundry too, huh? Yeah. But because it was BD12's special birthday lunch, I didn't say anything in return.
At the lunch, DH decided to call it a "two-fer" and announced that it was a combo Mother's Day and Birthday lunch. I wanted to punch him. I was the one who planned the lunch for my daughter, and drove everyone there! He didn't plan a damn thing. GF even paid for the lunch.
After we returned, DH took off to spend time with his mother, and probably the Ex and his loser adult kids. Yes indeed, Mothers Day is special. I hope he remembered to get his mother and his Ex cards. Maybe even some flowers. He'll probably take the loser skids to dinner to celebrate.
Why am I always an afterthought at best? I recall that my Ex used to conveniently "forget" important days such as Mother's Day and my birthday because he was really angry and wanted to hurt me. He hurt me over and over. I got smart and dumped him.
Now it's happening all over again. Tomorrow I'll go to work and be asked, "How was your Mother's Day?" Do I lie like I did years ago when I was ignored then? Or do I tell th truth, "I was completely ignored and my DH went to spend time with his other family. "
No--I'll just paste a smile on my face and lie again this year--I don't want to make my colleagues uncomfortable. I'll tell them I received a nice card and flowers, and then my DH took me out to a nice dinner. All the while my heart will be breaking and I'll try not to mist over and cry. I know how this goes...I've been here too many times before.
So goes "Others Day" for 2008. Maybe next year will be better.
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Comments
If I lived anywhere near you
I would pick you up in a hour for a day of coffee, support, laughs and possibly tequila later on }:) . Stuff the rest of the world. I need a day off. And not just from work.
}:) Being my husbands third wife does not make me third rate. It just means he is a slow learner }:)
Father's Day ritual
Yes, I always make sure my DH is recognized on Father's Day. I get a couple of cards--one from me and one "from" my BD12 well before the actual date, and we write nice things in them. He puts the cards on the mantle. If there's something DH wants or needs, I make sure he gets it and feels special.
This morning DH reminded me that "Last year I mowed the lawn on Father's Day!" just to make sure that I know that he suffers too. And to make sure that I realize, once again, that my hurt feelings are my own fault, and not due to any action on his part--or in this case, inaction.
In other words, if I feel hurt and angry, it's my fault, not his.
Well, it's different when you are appreciated by your family and happen to mow the lawn, as opposed to being completely forgotten on your special day and having it as a chore that "you enjoy."
This year I'll make sure he's appreciated on Father's Day once again. At the very least I have to set a good example for my daughter.
We may not be our DH's
We may not be our DH's mothers...although there are some that like to be mothered LOL
We are still the Mother to their Bio-childre and Step-children...whichever the case may be and in some cases both.
I feel like we should at least be acknowledged in the capacity of being Mother's to their offspring.
"SOME PEOPLE WEREN'T MEANT TO HAVE CHILDREN"
Sarah,
Sarah, I am with Karma Queen...if I was close enough, I would come and take you out for our own Mother's Day celebration!
Hugs,
Corie
You know something...
I think you hit it for me... you said
"Why am I always an afterthought at best? I recall that my Ex used to conveniently "forget" important days such as Mother's Day and my birthday because he was really angry and wanted to hurt me. He hurt me over and over. I got smart and dumped him."
That pretty much nailed it for me, I think. Hmmm.... That is a profound thought that I have never thought of before. That's pretty smart thinking.
I'm sorry. I feel the same way. Happy Mother's Day!!!!
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
that sucks
While your DH should be doing all the great stuff for you ONE day a year, the other folks here are right that sometimes, its in your own hands.
I hear ya though sister. Although my DH did organize some gift giving last week while his kids were with us, there was NOTHING yesterday. No card, no gift, nada. I went to my mom's for brunch with my 2 kids and let him stay home alone. He then had one of his friends come over and while I was wrangling my 2 kids and doing yard work, they were getting drunk in his office and watching zombie movies. Then, the friend decided to stay for dinner so my dinner went from grilled steaks to brats and sauerkraut, which I hate.
THEN, at the end of the day I told him that I was sort of frustrated by the fact that he was drinking and watching zombie movies while I was busting my hump around the house and he got mad at me because I was upset with him, and pouted until he left for a business trip today.
So on Fathers day, I'm having my sister over and we're drinking cosmo's in bed while watching Sex in the City. Better late MD than not at all.