I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't have any advice for you, but I'm sure you'll receive many posts with wonderful advice from the people here. Just wanted to say I hope things work out, however they are meant to, for you.

I have felt like that many times about my marriage The difference is that we have a kid together and I often think if we did not, I would not have stayed this long.
Resentment takes a lot of focus/time to get over. Leaving may come with guilt, but it does not make you a "bad" person. Which ever you decide, good luck.

HI there, when I read your post it was a very familiar story to me. Unlike you I am not married to my boyfriend but have spent the last five years with him. Like you the last two have been total misery for me. I have recently started therapy for myself. When we first me I was crazy in love with him but there have been so many issues that like you I don't really know how I feel. I care for him and want the best for him but I feel like I am cheating myself out of having a loving relationship with someone. Their family has alot of dysfunction and my ex and I met right after his alcoholic wife left. He kids are the same age as mine and they are going no where. My kids are out on their own in school living their lives and he is an enabler for his two children. I refuse to live with him because of his kids. I am currently working on myself in therapy and it has helped alot. Like you I feel so guilty that I want out of the relationship but when I tell my therapist some of the things that go on there I have at least been able to feel that I am not the "crazy" one. She has also helped me to see that some of his behavior to me, i.e. manipulation, is causing me to feel guilty and she is reminding me that I am entitled to be in a loving relationship with someone without all the dysfunction. It has helped alot to talk to someone outside my family and close friends. I have decided that as much as I care for him there are certain things that I will not tolerate in my life and these are the things that I don't see him changing. I am learning that we are entitled to be happy in our lives also. Sometimes people cross a line in their relationships that can never be repaired or brought back to the place it was when they met. I know this is the case for me. I hope some of this helps. Trust you heart and gut feelings they know when things are right. Good luck to you.

I'm not quite to the point you are yet, but I can certainly feel frustrations and resentments brewing in me and I don't want to be where you are in 2 years, so I am seeking counseling for us now. I'm lucky enough that SO is willing to participate.

And still, like you, I don't quite know if I'm pursuing the counseling to save the relationship out of love, guilt, or misplaced obligation similar to what you are feeling. I'm hopeful that the therapy will help me understand my motivations (and SO's) as well as help with working on our relationship.

My feeling is that all partnerships need some work, care, and maintenance, and mine still has the potential to be awesome even with all of the challenges we have, because we are a great match otherwise. Because of that, I feel it would be a disservice to myself to not try every avenue possible to MAKE it awesome, even if I'm still around at this stage for perhaps the wrong reasons. The point is I AM still around, and the potential is there, so I'm going to try to reach it.

So I feel like you should look at the fundamentals of your partnership with your wife. Passion and lust can be rekindled. Family issues can be solved if both parties are willing to participate and are committed to solving them. But at its core, just you and her, do you think you are right for each other? Do you enjoy being with her, spending time together, being a companion to her? Are you friends that positively contribute to each other and to the life you share together? If you have that foundation, it's what you need to fix the rest, and can motivate you to do so.

Have you spoke about all of this & how you are feeling with your spouse? My hubby & I are linda going thru a bit of a "rough patch". Nothing big has really happened with us, but my DH isnt really opening up to me much lately, and I really wish he would just communicate with me. Hes very quiet & we arent normally like this. We both kinda have the gift of gab per se.

My point is, id do just about anything if he would just open up to me. My suggestion would be to go back to the basics in your relationship. Date her again. Do little things, just because. Go back & fall in love with her all over again. Cause when your in that "in love" stage...everything in your life seems better & easier again.

Give it a shot. Might just be what you both need. Best of luck to you!!