Quick update:

We decided to hold off on getting married and moving in together. I'm glad I made the decision because it has made us closer. I am realizing now how hard all of this is on him and the kids... I even feel sorry for BM who seems to be very confused and bitter and acting on repulse.

BM remarried, two months after meeting a new guy when she was in another state on vacation... he moved her and her kids now she's working on alienating the boys from their father. It seems to be working on SS13 but SS7 isn't hearing any of it and even still... he tries to remain positive but I know it's hurting him deep down.

My boyfriend is really taking things really hard since he really loves his boys and was always a good father to them. Now the new dad who also had kids in another state is living with his children. They boys don't know this guy from a can of paint. They've expressed concerned but not too much because I believe they are scared of BM. And BM is doing everything she can to make her new husband their brand new daddy. She's even went as far as telling them that the "new daddy" IS THERE DADDY. I have no idea what planet she's from or why she would want to confuse her kids this way - - but I'm sure they are confused because it's not like my boyfriend is a deadbeat. He pays child support, supports every school and sport function, he's there for those boys in everyway. Sometimes I think he goes over and beyond but that's my opinion - - he isn't perfect by far BUT when it comes to those boys... he's all over it so I do not understand BM's determination to replace him, their biological father, with a man she just met and someone her kids barely even know.

I'm not sure what to tell my boyfriend and I can't give him any advice because -- I have no idea what he's going through. I am trying to be patient and support him but I feel like our life together is on hold... I also have my own teenaged son and trying to bridge all of this is really hard.

(DEEP SIGH)