Last night we had a huge fight. I mean the worst fight ever, World War 3.

It all started because of SS7's behavior. He didn't listen to me yesterday morning getting ready for school. He also sneaked into the living room before I woke up to hide his talking Ferb stuffed toy in his backpack (this is not the first time he has brought things into school that he wasn't allowed). After giving me trouble getting ready, I was already on edge. When I pulled into the circle for him to be let out of the car, I heard a noise. It was the voice of Ferb. I told him to give me whatever the hell he had in his backpack. He refused to so I had to grab the bag out of his hands. I unzipped it and found to my surprise this toy. The only thing I could think to say was "Are you f'n kidding me?!" He has been getting in trouble so bad lately that he even has his own special behavior chart that tracks him with smiley, straight, and sad faces throughout every task of the day. I just couldn't believe that he would attempt this knowing how much trouble he already gets in on a daily basis now. If I wouldn't have caught him, he would have gotten a detention for sure maybe worse, especially since they are sick of giving him so many chances (9x out of 10 he gets in trouble for violence/offenses against girls).

When he came home from school, Dh punished him for his behavior that morning. In a matter of hours, the temperature dropped over 20 degrees making it necessary for him to wear pants to school today. I had just bought him the pants and hadn't hemmed them yet as he needs such a large size to fit his waist. I sat on the floor trying to mark the pants for me to hem them (something BM would never ever do! she would just roll them up if she did anything). He started acting like a baby fake crying and throwing a fit because he was too lazy to unbutton the pants. Dh tried to coddle him further by showing him on his own pants step-by-step how to undo the pants. HE IS 7 YEARS OLD. HE KNOWS HOW, BUT JUST WANTS SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT!! This little fit and bullshit lasted for 15-20mins. Dh got so frustrated he went to put him to bed without showering. Due to his weight and the way it affects his privates, the doctors say he must bathe every single night or he will get an infection. Dh just wanted to take the easy way out. I had to once again be the bitch and remind him that it wasn't acceptable especially considering he was at school all day, then went to after school art class and had paint on his arms, and it was 75 degrees all day. He told him that he had to go bathe and of course he started crying and threw a fit. While in the shower, I fixed the pants and went to wash his uniform shirt. They are expensive so he only has 2. I grabbed it and discovered that he had cut 4 holes into the front of the shirt plus cut the stitches out that I used to sew up the 2 previous holes he cut a few weeks ago. I was soooo pissed! This started WW3 with us after he went to bed.

Our attorney told us Friday that it looks bad for us that I'm so involved with SS. I had no choice not only did SS basically make me be his mom, but BM backed out of his live for over a year. For all intents and purposes, I am his mother in action and in his mind. I also have to be because both of his parents have no clue how to take care of a child. They both do what is easy, not what's best. They make excuses for his behavior and don't think he has problems. I have to do everything for him, research schools, fill out forms, find doctors, basically all of the business-type things taking care of a kid requires. He lives with us and BM is a f'n moron so I'm the one charged with taking care of him with all of the problems and none of the benefits or credit. After our knock-down drag-out fight, Dh proposed that from now on he do everything for SS so I don't have to worry about anything anymore and can reduce my stress and the effect it has on my physical and mental health.

It sounds like a great idea, but he has promised that he was going to step up and do his job in disciplining and getting SS in line many many times with no avail. I don't know how it will really work as I am his mother in every aspect but biology. The only time Dh and I spend together is with SS, so if he's to take sole responsibility for him now then when will we ever spend time together? The time as a family was my only time with him. Showing me that he means business, he woke up SS at 5:30 this morning and brought him to friends of ours so they could bring him to school so I wouldn't have to. Dh has to be to work for 6:30 about a 20min drive that is why he woke him up so early. SS even stayed in after care for 2hours in an attempt to spend some time with me before picking him up (he gets off work at 3). However, he came home only to discuss with me what he should do about BM. The place where she has her supervised visits called saying that she wants to bring her mom, sister, and the sister's 2 kids to the visit this weekend and he has to approve it or deny it. Out of a possible 8 visits, she has cancelled 3 for bullshit reasons, brought her mom to 2 of them, and allowed SS to cut 2 of them short from 5 to 3 hrs. She claims she wants a relationship with "her" son but wants to share him with 4 other people? All of last year, her sister threatened to beat her ass, but now since "she has changed"(quote from her gullible mom) now she is up her ass? If I only had 5 hours to visit my son, I wouldn't want to share him with anyone. If her mom and sister wanted to see him, all they have to do is call us. We've had them over to our house for parties, lunch, dinner, etc. However, ever since BM started actually visiting him in April, they backed away and haven't called once. Dh has even attempted to call several times with no answer or return call, including over a dozen times in the last 3 weeks. His voicemails even say "hey, it's Dh. Please call me back it's important." SS could be in the hospital or dead and she doesn't call. Neither her or her stupid ass daughter (BM) really give a shit about this boy. Our attorney said to tell them no because the visits are for her. We are forced to pay for the supervision for some dumbass reason and we shouldn't have to pay for other people who can see him for free to visit him. She also said that our case may be looking up with SS's GALs. BM is supposed to have her home visit this week but evidently that has changed because they now don't know when or WHERE it will be. We heard from the psychological evaluator that the house phone where she lived at answered and said she doesn't live there anymore. She has not told us anything about it even though she is court ordered to inform us of such changes. Our attorney said that the GALs are finally getting a look at her sketchy/fishy behavior and she now feels much better about their opinion of us.

When we went to pick him up, he had gotten in trouble for cutting things and attempting to cut his arm with scissors at school. Right after we got on his ass the night before for cutting the shirt!!!! Then he threw a fit like an infant because he didn't want to go home and wanted to stay in after-care. Who the hell wants to sit in a cafeteria?? I don't exactly know how this whole idea of Dh taking over everything is going to go nor do I know how I really feel about it. Is this even possible? Is it even practical? Should we just give it a try for the sake of our marriage? What are your experiences or opinions of couples counseling? Any other thoughts?