UTI or bladder infection did not occur to me until I started reading articles this morning. Unfortunately, although she only sees her mother every other weekend (on a good month, sometimes it's 4-6 weeks between visits), we still have to have her approval for any doc visits, so I have to wait to get permission to make an appt. But I do think it's a possibility and we definitely need to see the doc! I try really hard to tell her that she just needs to go when it's time, without reminders, I'm honestly terrified it's going to happen at school. We live in a very small town, and she moved up here this summer, so although she's still getting to know everyone in her grade, peeing her pants at school will follow her around socially for years to come.

I honestly don't know exactly how DH would feel about it. SD is always so open and honest about how much she doesn't like the rules, structure, healthy diet here as compared to chocolate cereal at bedtime at BM, and no set bedtime there. And she is always tattling on everyone (including the pets), so I would hope if there were any type of physical abuse she would have slipped and said something to someone. But now I'm starting to really freak out about the possibility, so I think I'm just gonna have to push to be allowed to make the appt. We're still fighting to get paperwork from BM for me to be able to take SD to counseling appts, all I need is a signature stating I can arrive with the child, pick up the child, and make and change appts. Since DH works out of town, it's all up to me and BM is being insanely difficult about giving me any type of control at this point. I'm really worried if the word abuse comes up she'll make our lives hell again. Its sad, she really doesn't want much to do with her daughter, but she sure likes to try and control everything we do to help the poor little girl!

I have actually raised 3 boys that are teens now, and somehow I forgot how to mother a 6 year old in the past 7 years. As hard as I try, I end up talking to SD like she is far older, so I'm still working on relating to her on her level, and teaching myself how to talk to a 6 yr old without seeming like I'm interrogating. But I do think talking would be our best bet, she's a smart cookie and realizes more than her father gives her credit for most days.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts on this subject! Although the only permission I received from BM was to make/change appts, and to transport to/from appts, we are cleared to see the counselor tomorrow. I'm hoping that within a few weeks my poor SD will begin to be able to deal with her emotions and BM's emotional manipulations and we will begin to make progress with her instead of our normal 1 step forward and 5 steps back after visits with BM. We also have a court time for final orders, which if we're super lucky will include a solid every other weekend schedule for SD to see BM, and no makeup days (as BM wants her makeup days to be during the week and since she lives 5 hours from us SD would miss school days). The support I've gotten here has been wonderful, and I want to truly thank everyone! It's great to know that there is somewhere to rant and rave and know it won't come back to bite me in the ass!! The school counselor, and outside unbias adults all agree that this was definitely an emotional issue and are ready to testify in court if we need in the future. For now, BM is still being insanely selfish and unconcerned with her daughter's well being, but at least we know that we are doing everything in our power to help her get through all of this. Thank you all for your support!!!