is one accident enough
We have primary custody of my ss but he spends every other weekend with his BM. The last weekend he was over there she calls to tell us she is on her way to the ER with my ss because he split his head open. later we find out that he fell off the couch and hit his head on the coffee table. I mean i know he is only 4 and accidents are going to happen, but the thing is that she was sitting in the same room with him and didn't make him stop jumping on the furniture. She is more like a playmate for him when he is there instead of being his mother. We thought about making it to where she had to have supervised vistations with him because of it. but we just aren't sure if one accident is enough to make that happen. She gives him no sort of structure there. He comes home acting unbelievable. he doesn't listen to us at all and its because when he is with her he pretty much does what he wants so she doesn't have to deal with him. I understand she is his BM(as bad as I hate it)but she isn't a good influence on him at all. She is almost 30 and has no car, still lives with her mother and works as a waitress(guess at least she has a job). We went this week and applied for child support because she doesn't offer to do ANYTHING for him at all. i am at my witts end with her. She had a child before she had my ss and gave it up for adoption, and it was like it was nothing for her to volunteer signing over custody of my ss. I just wish if she only wanted to be his friend then she would give up her parental rights and let me adopt him.
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Accidents do happen...kids
Accidents do happen...kids are going to get hurt...if a kid is hurt every single time she has him, well, that's an issue...but your parenting style and hers are obviously different...although I won't say I agree with hers more than yours...but imagine if every kid that went to the ER from having an "accident" was taken away from their parents? Geez, my DH cut off part of his finger when he was little, split his head open a few times, and many other things...these things happen sometimes...
Thanks it just bothers me
Thanks it just bothers me that she is so immature and can't act like a parent to him. Just wish she would grow up.
Hmmmmmmmmmm. We would be in
Hmmmmmmmmmm. We would be in TROUBLE if this were the rule of thumb. SS has broken BOTH collar bones at our house. One from jumping on the bed... even after being told a thousand time (THAT NIGHT) to stop... and the other was while he was wrestling with my nephew. Boys are rough... and don't always listen. If it becomes a pattern, then YES... do something. But one accident. I am sure eventually something will happen to him in your care as well. Boys will be boys ya know!
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
I agree accidents do happen.
I agree accidents do happen. Don't stress yourself over it too much unless it becomes a regular occurrence. My BD3 now 1 1/2 at the time fell and hit her head on a slate fireplace when I was in the same room....kids will be kids and they are reckless and crazy and uncoordinated. It's normal...especially with boys.
Oh you're brave.... I'd for
Oh you're brave.... I'd for sure never say never on this one! Yikes!
Maybe she will after getting
Maybe she will after getting the CS papers in the mail. Have DH get papers drawn up for her to sign over her rights. Tell her their is then no CS, or scheduled visitation. But maybe you would be willing to meet her at a park once in awhile for a visit? You can then supervise. But don't write that in on the paper work, once SS is older he may not want to her anymore.
oh and no this one incident
oh and no this one incident is not going to be enough. you would need a string of them unfortunately.
Thanks so much for all
Thanks so much for all everyones advice! another issue we are having with him is bed wetting. i don't understand.I cut his drinking out after dinner and make him go before he goes to bed and have woke him up in the middle of the night to go pee and he still wets (i mean soaks) the bed.Don't know if we should take him to the doctor or not! I can only wish she would sign over rights to me but because her mother always has a say so in what she does as far as ss is concerned i don't foresee that happening! its worth a try though. think i will mention it to my husband
I would take him in to the
I would take him in to the doctor. Some kids have a weak bladder, or are heavy sleepers, my BIL is 12 yrs and is on medication (to help with bladder control). And he is still wetting the bed....it is partial laziness the dr. said.
Some kids are wetters it doesn't always mean there is something wrong with the child or the parent.
I think it is also a gender
I think it is also a gender thing. SS was much harder to completely potty train, than the girls were. At 4 years old he still had accidents. I would ask the Dr about it though. Try putting "goodnights" on him in the mean time. That will at least help with the clean up.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
Yup my son is 3 1/2 and
Yup my son is 3 1/2 and still wears a diaper to bed. When I asked my dr. she said that they will wait till he is 7 yrs. If he is still wetting they may consider medication.
It is totally normal for boys to have a harder time.
thanks we usually keep
thanks we usually keep goodnites. they seem to be the only thing that will contain all the fluid he releases at night. but i was curious about the weak bladder. he goes to the dr. next week for a physical i will ask about that. this will be his first real drs. visit in years. his BM never took him. he was even behind on vaccines. we had to take him to a local clinic to get them. she amazes me how neglagent(sp) she is with him. wow some people really don't ever grow up do they!
Do you remember the
Do you remember the goodnight commercial, about 10 years ago, where the little girl is too embarassed to go to a slumber party... until they get her GOODNIGHTS and then she is all happy and goes to her friends house...?
That little blonde girl in the commercial, is my SIL. My DH's little sister. Every year on her birthday, we put that DVD in and let it roll during her party. It embarasses her!
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
HAHA!!! That's cute! One of
HAHA!!! That's cute! One of my best friends was on a Star Wars toy box when he was a kid. It's hilarious. If you want, pm me & I'll email it to you.
not to hijack a blog or anything
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".