Yeah you TOTALLY have room to talk!!!!!
Dh's "SD" (from a former girlfriend who he thinks of like a stepdaughter) calls dh up and lets him know her friend is a photographer-offers family pics. Dh tells her our 16 year old is living with his grandparents as he can get a job there, as it isn''t possible when living here, among other reasons. He apparently is EXPLAINING all those reasons to her because I can tell she's going on for quite a bit about it. When dh gets off the phone I ask what the convo was about and she apparently "couldn't believe" we let a 16 year old go live with his grandparents. Cuz that's UNHEARD OF RIGHT??? This coming from the same gjrl who got pregnant, considered adoption, kept the kid instead and THEN gives the poor thing to a friend to raise cuz her can't handle responsibilities she chose to take on when she knew she wasn't prepared for motherhood. And tried to camp out at OUR house cuz apparently when you're told by the social services agency (she was in foster care) to make an appointment, that's too much to handle. Idk what gives her the holier than thou attitude but it's quite laughable.
Judging
It is easier for people who really screw up in life to point the finger at someone else to make themselves look and feel better. But as you wrote, most people see it as laughable. Actually it's none of her business how you raise your son. "He's just fine" is sufficient.
I don't feel I even owe her
I don't feel I even owe her that. My response would've been to hang up on her mid-sentence-and to do so in such a way that she KNOWS the call didn't drop. My problem isn't that she eventually decided she wasn't ready for parenthood...I believe people should be able to make that choice. My issue is she should've made that decision while PREGNANT and not let that baby get all attached to her and throw her hands up and give the kid up less than 2 years later, after she realized I wasn't gonna let her sponge off us. Cuz dh told her no but made it my fault (but claiming to ME he gave her the "no room" explanation).
Grandparents shouldn’t have
Grandparents shouldn’t have to raise their children kids unless there ate extreme circumstances. This was not extreme enough it’s a I don’t want to deal my husband is quite similar. Kids are getting pregnant so young anymore they are still kids thank God somebody took responsibility. We both need to re-evaluate our life and future, you are not alone
I'm not raising her kid.
I'm not raising her kid.
Many of the SD's we are
Many of the SD's we are dealing with on this forum are the most judgmental, critical people around. They have no mirror and spend enormous energy looking for ways to fault SM's of which they are seriously envious. If you have nothing to do with her that she can cast in a negative light (mine can cast me standing still, keeping to myself- in a negative light); she will look for ways to diminish your value, thus elevating her own.... As long as daddeeeee listens, it continues. My daddeeee (DH), refuses to tell them how nasty and rude they are and to simply "shut up." It does not matter the insults they hurl to either one of us. Sometimes you have to get on their level to make them understand when they are this emotionally juvenile. Or, do what I do and stay the heck away from the sickness.