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I love this counselor!

Freedom2005's picture

Submitted by Freedom2005 on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 1:14am

I had my counseling on Wed... and she started off with "you are so good for SS12, you have no idea!!!"

I was so moved! She told me how SS12 just bursted out in front of his dad and told her (counselor) how much he like how I identified with him that the adults yell at him all the time (his dad and his uncle that lives with us)

I went to this poor guy after I saw he was about to cry for his uncle yelling at him for not doing as he was told. Now, SS12 was in the wrong, but when you have 2 men coming down on you like you have just killed someone... my heart went out to him.

Now, me and SS12 have had a good relationship from the start. I cannot have any more children and I have no boys, so I give him that Mom/Son thing some. Not too much though, I am not his mom. But when ever he has asked me things, I always answer honestly. He comes up with some doosies too!!! LOL

He is 12, of course he is going to talk back. Especially when he gets yelled at and his sister gets "oh, don't do that honey... wanna piece of candy?" GRRRRR!!!!

Grandma takes SS12 out shopping for shoes... Daddy says, "why didn't you get anything for SD10?" Both Grandma and I look at him like he is crazy! Oh and the look on SS12's face just breaks your heart. He tells SD10, "I will take you out and get you something honey!" Makes me sick..

I just had my birthday and it was nice.... When BF went out and go me a present, he also got a shopvac. Now, SD10's chore is to sweep our house (all wood floors) and she said, "oh, you got me a present too right Daddy?" She meant the shopvac. It was all I could do to smile... on my b-day, over MY cake...

I know he is guilt parenting. He feels so guilty that him and BM are not together for his kids. He has told me that he is very happy that I am so good to his kids, that after 3 years, it is part of the reason he is attracted to me. I am glad, we use to say we were not looking for replacements for our really bad ex's. I would have to say though, we are VERY happy that each of us is a decent parent. Now, so to be clear, he is a decent parent, he thinks he is doing the right thing for his 2 kids. I know he will be open to the advice that he gets from the counselor. He wants to know how to be a good parent to his kids. He is misguided, that is the word me and my counselor use.

This counselor is so awesome....

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jojo71's picture

Submitted by jojo71 on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 7:29am

I'm hoping the same happens for us. FH hasn't contacted his insurance about a councilor so far this week (that I know of)...I need to ask him about that again.

FH's main goal in LIFE, the thing he's most proud of, is being an amazing daddy. In his *large* circle of friends, he's known as the "best daddy in the world"...sometimes it's annoying, but compared to other fathers, he is more INTO his daughter than any other father I've ever known. But it's to a fault and they don't see this. They're so well-intentioned and you can't take that away from them...they are trying their damndest! lol They just don't see how it's possible to go overboard with love and attention and affection...I mean, it makes sense...how can you love your child TOO much??

I feel so bad for your SS12 that he is not treated as equally loved as your SD. I mean, it's not even like they're that far apart in age. I hope that's something the councilor can help with too. Otherwise he's going to grow up resenting his sister...and one day, they may be the only family they each have.