Ewwwww.....honey?
So, you know how its kind of irksome when you hear your SO call the skids "pet names"? Baby, sweetie, dear, etc... Lets not forget honey.
After countless times of over hearing SO call his preteen "honey" while on the phone, i finally said something.
One BIG thing about my SO is hes a mans man! And anything that isnt man man? Well, its just NOT manly, end of story. (Ladies if you have a man like this you totally know what i mean)
I have always been put off about that honey name ever sincethe first time ive heard SO say it to SS. Im not gonna lie, i find it creepy! So today, i walked in the house right at the perfect time. As he is ending his convo, "okay honey, bye. Bye honey"
I look dead at SO, with a half disgusted look on my face, "bye honey?"
SO is like, "i was talking to my son." (In a come on you know its not a girl, tone and look on his face)
I replied, "oh, i know. But..honey? Really?"
Silence.....
"Okay, im sorry but thats just eww, creepy"
My son is standing there and says, "oh mom"
I said, "umm no!" "Never in my life have i ever heard a grown ass man call a prepubesent boy honey. Its creepy, and you know it"
I walk out to kitchen to start dinner. Im not mad, but i am kinda grossed out by it. Its not manly, and my SO is manly. SO comes out to kitchen. (I know he thinks i mad) and says...."its a habit."
???????????
Im like, "what are you talking about?" (All the while thinking that this is a pretty good excuse. Yeah right) "its just a habit. Sommetimes i dont think about it. Like when i talk to DD2 and call her honey"
I just stare at him like "really?" So i said, "im not mad, so i dont know why your out here. I didnt say anything"
SO says back "well, you said creepy. I dont want you to be creeped out"
One more time i reply how i really didnt say much, and im not mad. SO repeats himself, "dont want you to get creeped out"
I said, "too late. Its creepy. I have never heard a
man call an older boy honey" All the while showing through my face and body language, that it is creepy to me.
What i wanted to do was turn around after that convo, and call my 16yr old son "babe"
Cause, you know, its a habit
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Comments
I definitely call my teenage
I definitely call my teenage brother babe, same as my college age sisters. Definitely not creepy. I call ss8 kiddo, doll, babe, sugar, love, darlin... My mother calls my grown husband (manly man mechanic) sweetheart. They're terms of endearment, and I don't find them creepy. More likely you're having cultural differences.
I would say that you should
I would say that you should choose your battles carefully and that this should not be your hill to die on. Basically, you are not right or wrong; however, it is your opinion. And personally, I would have no problem with it whatsoever. A man should be affectionate with his children. I respect it.
cant win- i actually do see
cant win- i actually do see what you mean. my dh is a Manly Man too and that's completely contrary to the rest of his nature. dh used to call skids 'baby' all the time, and it didnt bother me when they were still little. thank goodness he quit that on his own before it ever got creepy-sounding.
i'll call them 'honey' when i get exasperated with them. i just comes out naturally, but i guess if i dissected it, it's probably an attempt to soften the blow. a random example would be steps for laundry. "can i wash this with this?" "yes" "do i wash it in warm or cold?" "cold." "do i put the soap in now?" "yes". "how much detergent should i use?" "SSNAME, honey, read the directions. c'mon now."
but as a complete replacement to their name, each time every time? no. it'd creep me out too.
I don't care if DH uses terms
I don't care if DH uses terms of endearment for his kids, as long as he doesn't call them the same pet name he has for me! Now that's creepy when I hear him call SD12 "hunny bunny" which is what he calls me
I'm totally with you on this.
I'm totally with you on this. FDH used to mix pet names for me and SD for a while, which is and was creepy as hell. He calls SD kiddo a lot, but, was also calling her "hon," which is one of the things he calls me. It went on for so long, despite my protests, that he still has to remind SD that when he says "hon" he's not referring to her, but to me, his partner.
exdh never called me by my
exdh never called me by my name, it was always "baby". we were fighting one day and I heard him say "baby?" I angrily said "what?" he got shitty and said "I wasn't talking to you!" he was talking to his aunt. :sick: um, ok asshole. how stupid of me to think that when you use the name you ALWAYS call me by, you are talking to me. how stupid of me to not know that you call your fucking AUNT "baby" as well. idiot. and that's just gross.
I was going to blog about
I was going to blog about this myself.
DH has a pet name for SD20 and he has her programmed that way on his cell phone. He does not have a pet name for me OR for either of our two BDs. Only SD20 is special that way, I guess. :sick:
I’ve never seen a problem
I’ve never seen a problem with pet names. However, it is weird for a grown man to be calling a boy “honey”. I can see a female calling a boy “honey”. I know I do it with my SSs. I don’t see a problem with a dad calling their daughter “honey”. Growing up in the Deep South you get use to hearing people call each other “sweetie” “babe” “honey” etc. I know I call SD13 “baby girl”.
you forgot "darlin'",
you forgot "darlin'", darlin'!
i call him Hunny, he calls me Baby Doll, and we both call eachother My Dear ^_^
My DH calls me Honey and
My DH calls me Honey and Sweetie and when SD13 is over he calls her the same thing. So now, when he calls out "HONEY" SD13 will reply "Which one?"
LOL...It used to bother me. It doesn't bother me anymore, now I think it's just funny.
That's exactly what happens
That's exactly what happens here, and it didn't bother me until one time SD10 says, "Which Honey, honey number one or honey number two...I'm #1, right?" :sick:
HAHA! That's funny! These
HAHA! That's funny! These kids are just too much aren't they? My SD said that once too. I told her I was #1 and her reply was "but how if I came first?"
Honestly? It doesn't bother me at all anymore. It's actually really stupid if we are to be honest with ourselves.
It didn't bother me until the
It didn't bother me until the first time that he referred to me as 'honey #2', and then I felt like a piece of shit!
I would say that you should
I would say that you should choose your battles carefully and that this should not be your hill to die on.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
YUP. I would let this one go.
It wont be an ongoing
It wont be an ongoing arguement. For sure its not my hill to die on. I know i made my point to him with the few looks i gave, and the few words i said. Im still glad i said something. Im pretty sure he sees what i was saying as well.
If he continues, oh well. Whatever. On a regular basis i dont hear the convos anyway, but i wont hesitate to make an eye roll if i hear it again.
I understand terms of endearment between people. I believe its more common for women to use them with both sexes regardless of age. For men, i believe it mostly depends on the type of man he is, which is why i said he was a manly man. I have no other word to describe the manly ways of doing things or thunking. That was why i also stated if you have a manly man, you would clearly understand.
That is not meant as a jab to your men ladies. As a matter of fact it is an ongoing discussion between me and SO. In a nutshell, if it is something he wouldnt do, and another man does, then that guy is "less manly"
Its ridiculous. So for HIM to call another male honey?!!!!!!......
Yeah its creepy. In an unmanly way creepy. Not incestual creepy.
BM calls SS "hun", just
BM calls SS "hun", just recently. It drives me insane... but whatever. If she wants to pretend like he is her husband, that's her problem. I just roll my eyes, and bitch about it to you guys. I would never mention it to anyone else.
My ex used to call me the
My ex used to call me the same pet name as he called his sons. When I first heard him call them the same name...it grossed me out, pissed me off. I got over it. My current SO calls everyone 'darlin'...his kids and me. Bothers me, but it's not an issue that I would pursue, because there are bigger ones.
My husband calls his 12 yo
My husband calls his 12 yo daughter "babe". I said something about it. It's gross to me too, especially since he calls me that.