Need a solution to mealtime defiance...
SD4 has al?ways been a picky eater. Sometimes we have to encourage her to eat at mealtimes. SD2 has pik_cked up this habit with a disgusting little twist...
Our dinnertime goes something like this:
I cook dinner, fix skid plates, let thhem cool to a comfortable temp, fix SO a plate, feed DD, fix my plate then I eat. While feeding DD and eating I and SO are constantly encouraging SDs to eat... "SD4 please eat your chicken" "SD2 please eat your green beans, honey" "SD4 stop fingering all your food and eat it please" "SD2 please put your fork down and finish the food in your mouth first" etc. SD2 will go from tiny baby sized nibbbles to shoving her mouth so full of food she looks like a chipmunk then sitting there, not chewing or swallowing, mouth slightly open (too full to close) with droll and mushy food dripping all over th place. If we ask her to chew and swallow she then bursts into tears and spews mushy food all over.
SO and I have been being very patient, using soothing tones, practically begging her to eat. We have tried taking her food away when she acts like this, time-outs, no desert/between meal snacks/smaller amounts of food. We are at a loss. Do not know what to do. It is soooo revolting to see this mess dripping down her chin onto her clothes, the table, floor, etc and it makes me want to puke. Even if we ignore her she does this. Fills hher mouth full of food and will not chew/swallow.
Both SO and I are at the end of our patience ropes and I am hoping someone can offer some help/suggestions/whatever. Please. Before I lose what little is left of my sanity.
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I love this idea. My girls
I love this idea. My girls are close to teenage years, but I remember now getting that table. Ours was like a picnic table. They loved sitting at their own table and eating. It was easier to clean too. It does keep them separate from the distractions.
Also, what about feeding the youngest before you get to the table with your others? That way you are eating with them and they are not watching you feed her.
Just some of my thoughts
This. It really is a little
This. It really is a little production where they're the main actresses. They're loving the attention. In order for "ignoring" to work, you need to do it consistently for weeks. They won't starve. Give the opportunity to eat and then when its over, calmly clean up the table and the kids and go about your evening.
As they get older, you can do things differently (if its still a problem - it is for us). SD get a small dessert if she eats and does it in a reasonable amount of time (one cookie, 4 hershey kisses - nothing major). If she doesn't finish in the alloted time, she gets no dessert and she washes her own dishes.
She likes the attention that
She likes the attention that she gets from being spoken to in a soothing voice and the power that she has to disgust you with spewed food. It sounds like you have tried everything, including ignoring her. So turn the tables on her.
This worked like a charm for my daughter. But a word of caution, it doesn't work for everybody and it could backfire. If it doesn't seem to be working, stop immediately.
Instead of trying to correct the offending behavior, insist on it.
"SD4, do not eat your chicken."
"Don't eat your green beans, either."
"No, no. You may not use a fork!"
"SD4, please put your hands in your food."
"Did you eat some chicken? Well, don't swallow it. Just let it sit in your mouth."
"SD4, please fill your cheeks with more food."
"No, you may not eat. The food must dribble down your chin."
Make sure you are both looking at her, waiting for her to drool food. This is important: Don't reward her for it (don't smile, or show relief or satisfaction). Just be very matter-of-fact about it. This is how she eats. If it is going to work, she will be first puzzled, then horrified by her own behavior. You may not have to do it more than once.
If it isn't going to work she will be delighted to comply. You will know right away which way it is going to go. If she's delighted, stop at once.
It worked for me. I'm just putting it out there.
Just noticed that the problem is with SD2. She might need to be shown how to take a bite, chew and swallow. She might not be comprehending how you are doing it.
I do not believe that there
I do not believe that there is any regression going on as B? Also has a baby bot that is 2 days older than DD. Also she knows how to chew and swallow. I really believe this is a defiance/attention seeking thing. I was thinking about cutting her food into small bite sized peiced again...
This kid will NOT potty train, speak when she can whine, etc. She takes the lazy/easy way when possible. I really think its attention she wants, good or bad. I am also thinking I will begin to ignore her and give her X amount of time to eat, she doesn't eat too bad. We have cut out all between meal snacks for both girls also. I guess my biggest issue is she doesn't do this with just me at the house... only when daddy is home.
Guess its a good way ttto work on my patience a littlee more...