StepMadre's Blog

Summer Skid Stuff

So, Bm called today and apparently she has waited until the last minute to make summer plans for the skids, but amazingly she has gotten a job and needs summer care plans for the skids. SS5 is going to be in daycare, that BM is paying for because it is her fault that he got kicked out of his regular daycare, but SS11 still needs a plan for summer because he is too old for the summer programs that he used to do. I am going to do some research and see if there are any good programs in our area, but the most likely result is that I will have SS11 with me most days, all days.

Sex Education

So, the role has fallen entirely to me to teach my older skid about the birds and the bees. Yay. Not. Haha, anyway, I don't really mind, but I would love suggestions for books, dvds etc... to help with this. Both of my skids are mentally slower than average so it's hard to teach them anything, but my SS11 keeps asking me about sex and puberty and seems to be getting lots of confusing information. Today, he asked me again about condoms (because he saw BM buy them-at least she's being safe?) and sex and so I had a chat with him and ordered him a book called What's Happening To My Body?

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I love Sandra Bullock!

Just watched the Oscars for 2009 and was thrilled to see one of my favorite actresses and step-mom, Sandra Bullock win Best Actress. To my delight, she dedicated her Oscar to "the moms that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from."

I felt like that includes step-moms, as well as adoptive parents, and it was wonderful to have us step-parents recognized and thanked by such a wonderful actress in front of such a large audience. Awesome!

OT: Am I the only adult tomboy on here?

I'm getting a laugh out of all the Valentine's Day gift descriptions and I think my husband got off the hook easily with me because I don't care two owls hoots about Valentine's Day! I looooooved Valentine's Day when I was a kid because it meant lots of little paper valentines in my brown paper bag at school and hopefully lots of chocolate.

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House Rules

I've had a couple PMs asking me to post our house rules, so here they are. They are occasionally updated and changed if we have a continual problem or a new issue comes up. We have a once a month family meeting with the skids where we discuss any problems or questions they have and to let them know about any possible changes or updates and also to remind them of our house rules (versus the total chaos at BMs).

"------ Family Rules"

OT: Mind Blowing Quantum Physics

Holy Heck! A friend just lent me the follow up movie to "What the Bleep Do We Know?" called, "What the Bleep? Down the Rabbit Hole" and it is something that everyone should watch. It's a lay person-friendly movie about our world from the Quantum Physics perspective. It's amazing and life changing and will change your view of the world forever. I found it to be completely fascinating and really applicable to my relationship with my skids and my anger and frustration with my BM.

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OT: Text Flirting

Kay, this is very off topic, but I have a question for you all. I won't go into the back story at the moment, but I would love some feedback and opinions (from both the guy and girl perspective!). Here it is: Is it considered inappropriate and flirtatious for a single girl to text message someone else's husband while they, the husband and the wife are all hanging out together? As in private text messages from the single girl to the married man, while hanging out. Not even taking the content of the messages into account, do you think this is appropriate? Inappropriate? Flirting?

More bad press for step-parents: Needle Boy

I just read about the needle boy from Brazil and it seriously made me physically ill. Number one, it is one of the most horrifying and disgusting cases of child abuse I have read about. That anyone could give a child alcohol until they passed out and then stick needles in them in an effort to kill them is the most horrible thing i've read in a long time!!!!!! Apparently, the psycho step-father did all this in an effort to get revenge on the mom. They didn't say what the revenge was for, but I think it's irrelevant.

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Nightmares

Quick little post: my SS5 has been having "nightmares" every night, since his brother has been refusing (with our support) to share a tiny twin bed with him. They have bunk beds and his brother is right there, but having a twin mattress to himself seems to be causing some massive problems with SS5. He claims that he has nightmares unless SS11 is sleeping in the same bed, but we have supported SS11 and have them sleep in their own beds. The thing is that every morning, like clockwork, SS5 comes into our bedroom and claims that he has had a nightmare and climbs into bed with us.

Letters to BMs-To send or not to send?

Some recent posts got me thinking about letter writing to BMs. I am all for fantasy letters that don't get sent, but I also have mixed feelings about actually sending them. I no longer stoop to giving Psycho the time of day and am totally over trying to communicate productively with her. That being said, I did write and send letters to her at one point and it completely changed our interactions for the better. She was completely out of control and seemed to be gaining steam. Both H and my efforts to get her to stop harassing me didn't work until I gave her the letters.

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