As expected, SD did have her continuing medical drama and did not show up to dinner. We FaceTimed to DH and MIL who were both "thrilled" that we "re-connected. Well, darn it... I am still disengaged so don't have any expectations. I will not put myself again into that whirlwind of 24-7 drama! 

My SS has been visiting and staying with us for the past four days. He's a super nice, polite and clean kid. He doesn't really talk to me and when DH is around, he doesn't eye contact with me at all. I know I am grateful for at least a polite relationship, but I feel my whole sense of being tense up, can't sleep, feel ignored and sad. Also, he sides with SD, so definitely does not support me in any way. I am just not good at this and feel depleted before, during and after every visit. 

DH just a happy lovey conversation with SD And apologized for being the middle man in all this stupid drama. He shared the conversation with me and shared that SD is ready to move forward, but IM THE MISSING PIECE. Now, according to both of them, it's up to me to call her and "move forward". I am trying to disengage, I don't want to be wrapped up in her drama anymore and I don't want to hang out with her. I'm tired of agreeing to do what others want. I hate being the stepmom and have no one here for support. I don't know what I'd do without you all. 

You all have heard my story about SD26.. I am disengaged, but not in my mind and body. SS24 comes to visit in a few weeks, and I will be around him. He's a great kid, but ultimately supports his sis. MIL probably does too, but plays both sides. I will have to be around all of them, some of them quite soon and I NEED someone I can text. I do not have kids or family here to support me when in these situations. DH becomes anxious and doesn't support me well when around his spawns. Is anyone willing to be "text support" - why are there no in person/Zoom groups for this type of thing?