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Not good at Step-mom-ing

step-out's picture

Submitted by step-out on Thu, 05/20/2021 - 3:15pm

My SS has been visiting and staying with us for the past four days. He's a super nice, polite and clean kid. He doesn't really talk to me and when DH is around, he doesn't eye contact with me at all. I know I am grateful for at least a polite relationship, but I feel my whole sense of being tense up, can't sleep, feel ignored and sad. Also, he sides with SD, so definitely does not support me in any way. I am just not good at this and feel depleted before, during and after every visit. 

Comments

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Thu, 05/20/2021 - 5:27pm

The shunning and avoiding, causing you to be tense the whole time - exhausting!

Well, hopefully toxic SD wont be around.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Thu, 05/20/2021 - 9:19pm

I mean, i don't think he is that super nice if he doesn't speak to you or look at you, and sides with someone against you. It sounds like he is afraid to be nice to you out of pressure from BM or SD? Either way, that is not a comfortable situation.

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Submitted by Wicked stepmo. on Fri, 05/21/2021 - 3:20am

Give yourself a pass and let go of feeling responsible for your relationship with SKs. They are making their own choices and that is not the result of anything you did.

You can have the best intentions but in stepland often times that isn't going to be enough. Take care off you and establish healthy boundaries. Don't allow Thier behavior to affect you personally. 

Casixz99's picture

Submitted by Casixz99 on Tue, 06/15/2021 - 12:45pm

I'm a new step mom. It's sucks. Try your best, do things you enjoy if they want to join you great,  if not their loss!