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I dug myself a hole and can't fill it back up

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Submitted by smurfy1smile on Mon, 02/23/2009 - 9:31am

So I think I way to nice of a person. I am the neighbor who will take in your mail while you are away. I am the friend who will drop everything if you need a shoulder to cry on or whatever. I am the mom who works part-time with a flexible schedule so I can do stuff with my kids and not miss school functions. I am the SO who does all of the house cleaning, most of the shoveling, cooking, grocery shopping, cat care including feeding and cat pan duty, kids care for my 3 kids, and on and on and on. Now I think I have created something of a monster in my BF. I am way too nice.

Am I wrong???

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Submitted by smurfy1smile on Mon, 02/16/2009 - 8:52am

BF has a temp order that says he gets BS EOW (Friday @ 5pm until Monday morning when baby is to be dropped off at daycare 60 miles one-way away)and every Thursday. I have beem doing all the driving on Fridays and Mondays for the past 8 weeks since I have not been working much. I got a job last week that I started today that is M-F 8am to noon so I can no longer drive his son to daycare on Monday mornings.

Guess what BF smelled at BM's??

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Submitted by smurfy1smile on Thu, 01/29/2009 - 9:37pm

BF dropped his BS1 off at BM's after his parenting time this evening and he said he saw a lighter flick in the window so he waited a moment and then BM turned the lights back on - the house lights were off. BM opened the door to BF and BF smelled the strong smell of POT! OMG! Who does BM think she is? This is the one who has to control everything. Last I knew, people who smoke pot are not in control of their life. BM asked that BF bring baby home at 8pm or 8:30pm, guess she was hoping for 8:30 instead of 8 when BF showed up.

gross motor delayed

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Submitted by smurfy1smile on Thu, 01/22/2009 - 11:09pm

Got SS1's medical records and it says he was referred to a physical therapy clinic since he was sitting on his own at 9 months of age. A week plus after the referral the clinic called BM, since she did not call them first, to schedule an appointment. They left BM a message. Another week plus later BM calls to tell them there services are not needed.

Shouldn't BM have told BF about this? Someone said this along with BM not telling BF that SS1 has been treated for asthma could be considered medical neglect. Anyone ever have this problem?

OT Ideas for baby gifts

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Submitted by smurfy1smile on Fri, 01/16/2009 - 5:30pm

Calling all parents - I need some suggestions for baby gifts for a good friend of mine.

What things did you recieve for your baby that you never thought about getting youself?

Or What stuff did you buy or get that you could not live without?

A few are mine are the formula holder for the diaper bag, pacifier holder, single use diaper cream for the diaper bag, and car seat cover.

Any suggestions are welcome.

Thanks in advance.

bf's intelligence makes me laugh...sometimes

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Submitted by smurfy1smile on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 4:38pm

Here are some of the "dumb" things BF has done when I ask him to do something for baby or for himself. Keep in mind he has never dealt with a small child and his ex never cooked.

When baby was getting ready to throw up last night, I asked BF to get me a bucket. He glances around the living room and just sits there. I again ask for a bucket or a bowl. He asks - Where are they? DUH in the cupboard where I keep the bowls. You know the bowls your eat popcorn out of.

did anyone think to ask me??

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Submitted by smurfy1smile on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 4:21pm

So FSS1 was throwing up last night. BF wasn't much help since he does not do well with barf. FSS1 threw up all over himself and the living room rug so I asked BF to run him a bath. I stripped the little guy and handed him to BF in the bathroom. For this I get a dirty look. I told BF its either wash the baby or clean up the puke. I tell BF he needs to call BM because their daycare has a policy that a child cannot attend until 24 hours after they stop throwing up. He started at 7pm and stopped about 9pm so no way it would be 24 hours before daycare the next morning.

BM refuses to compromise...no surprise

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Submitted by smurfy1smile on Thu, 01/08/2009 - 8:47pm

The temp order says BF gets every Thursday but does not stipulate when, where, or how long. So this is BF's weekend anyway so earlier this week, BF asked BM if he could pick up their son this evening to begin his weekend. BM responds - Thursday is not an overnight, your time starts on Friday. BF wrote back that he felt it was better for their son to not have to spend so much time in the car 2 days in a row so it would be better to just start his weekend today since it was his day anyway. BM would only be "missing" 4 awake hours with baby.

BM is hiding stuff again

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Submitted by smurfy1smile on Tue, 01/06/2009 - 1:27pm

BF is getting ready to start with the custody evaluator and together we are getting stuff together to give him/her. BF requested SS1 medical records for the past year. The came in the mail today. I was shocked when I read them. SS1 is being treated for asthma, has had 3 ear infections (we knew about 2), has a nebulizer, etc. Back in July BM offered BF an overnight for his brother's wedding. According to the medical records the day after she made this offer, she took baby to the doctor because he was sick and had been for several days.

BM and the CS check...thoughts please UPDATE2

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Submitted by smurfy1smile on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 7:56pm

BF was ordered to pay BM CS starting December 2008. No specific date to pay the CS was stated in the order. The court order came 2/3rds of the way through the month. BM got her first check via her attorney around the 25th. Well, today is the first and BM called BF after we dropped off FSS1 and asked if he had a check for her. BF said no you will get one about the same time as the last one and BM said oh no and hung up on BF. I know a bit about child support and I know in MN that if it is paid in the month it is due that is fine that's per my child support worker.

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