BM is hiding stuff again
BF is getting ready to start with the custody evaluator and together we are getting stuff together to give him/her. BF requested SS1 medical records for the past year. The came in the mail today. I was shocked when I read them. SS1 is being treated for asthma, has had 3 ear infections (we knew about 2), has a nebulizer, etc. Back in July BM offered BF an overnight for his brother's wedding. According to the medical records the day after she made this offer, she took baby to the doctor because he was sick and had been for several days. The report says SS1 had thrush and was to be on medication for it. BM never said a word about him being ill nor did she send any medication. At the end of August, the report noted SS's gross motor skills were not developing normally - he still could not sit up on his own and he was 9 month old. BF had asked BM about this several times and she never responded. In early December SS1 had his 2nd ear infection and BM never said a word about it to us. SS1 was at our home only 3 days before and we did not notice anything. SS1 had yet another ear infection shortly before xmas. SS1 went to the doctor on 12-18 and BF got baby for xmas on 12-25 and BM did not tell BF about the ear infection in an email until 12-24.
My biggest concern is the SS1 is being treated for asthma - with nebulizers and meds - and BM has never mentioned it. What if SS had a problem while he was with us?
Crazy!!
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I hope you can nail her for this...
What is the point? Why do BM's withhold vital information? Anyone dare to hazard a guess what's behind
this evil game? Afraid to be branded a bad parent? Trying to cut BF out of the loop? WHAT?
A sampling of withheld info from our dear BM:
SS14 busted for pot
SD19 pregnant
SS14 having a child in need of services filed on him
SS14 being sick with various serious lung ailments (DH was the one to finally find out and tell her--take him to the doctor!)
SS14 being sentenced to 2 weeks residential rehab
SS14 failing school (after BM told DH, oh, he's doing much better!)
various SS court dates, one DH found out about when he called the court about another
The kid thing has calmed down since we moved but we have been waiting 6 months
for her to refinance the house and get DH off the note. She's called him like 2 times
with updates on this long-drawn-out makes you ache process. She's basically incompetent.
So poor DH has to keep calling her...and he hates it.
Why does the mother have to
Why does the mother have to take kid to doctor or tell father about school stuff all the time. Why does the father tell mother to take kid to doctor. Why doesn't the father take him? Or know what is going on with school? I definitely see telling father about baby being sick but how come father never knows/notices/takes to doctor. As far as refinancing - from everyone I hear it is a long drawn out almost ridiculously impossible thing to do w/economy right now.
Becuz BMs refuse
to let BioDads take the kids. in fact my SD had a eye apt (routine) on our visitation day (BM makes apt on our days all the time)so we said you do this all the time---we can take her--nope BM refused and rescheduled the apt! And we have to fight BM for a copy of the insurance card, now she just switched insurance companies so we will fight for it again. BM are required by law to provide BioDads with cards but fight over it anyway. Pscyhos--thats why.
could the BF contact the doctor's office
and request that they send him SS1's medical info? We had the same thing happen to us- my oldest SD (OSD) had an ear surgery DH had not been told about, and both kids were on meds that DH did not know about either. When he finally did find out, he contacted the doctor's office, showed them the court order stating that he MUST be kept in the loop regarding the skids, and they started sending things to him. The same applied to their schooling- DH did not know of the time YSD was sent to the principal for screaming at a teacher, did not know about how many absences the kids had from school, etc. He went to the school and showed them the court order. They started to send him emails about parent-teacher conferences, how the SDs were doing, and upcoming school events. They also mailed him things too. Maybe it would help the BF if he could do this- he doesn't necessarily have to go to the doctor's office- just fax them a copy of the court order. If there isn't one in place, he should get one.
I'm sorry about the BM in your situation. Hello, what if something happened to her son when he was with you? She might be doing it so if a problem occurs, she could pin the blame on you. Shouldn't she be more concerned about her son? Seriously, WTF is wrong with the women who do stuff like this?
thats how we got the info
BF send a letter to the clinic requesting copies of the records. I have him do this about every 6 months. In the records, it also shows that SS1 had a referral since he was not sitting up at 9 months. Bf is sending them a letter to see if BM ever followed up and took SS1 to any appointments for his gross motor delays. For now we will have to wait and see.
Building the case one part at a time.
My H the BF cannot take his
My H the BF cannot take his son to the DR because the BM signed paper work saying only she could take him and sign papers for him and if the BF was to take him to the dr they could not treat him till the BM got there,
I know crazy sh*t!!!!
I hate the BM she is such a fu**ing bi*ch. she thinks she is much better than us when she is the one in a rusted trailer and welfare.
sorry I had to get that out! thanks
no way
I can't believe BM can legally bar BF from taking the child to the dr. Do they have joint legal? If so, have BF take a copy of the order to the dr office and get it put on file. Unless the order says only BM can take the child to the dr I don't think she can not allow it.
Some people just don't get that it is not about them it is about the child!
not to scare you but did he
not to scare you but did he get tested for autism. my friend of a friend son did not sit up or do anything. He would just lay on the floor on his back. He is autistic and is getting help for it, special classes. he is about 2 or 3, now, i think.