I got a new attitude....

and several other happy little songs. Rather than continuing to fuss at BF for not taking matters into his own hands with BM, or waiting on BM to do what she needs to do, I've decided to change my approach. I will calmly, quietly, and respectfully make my requests of him, give him a reasonable amount of time to deal with it with BM, and then if he doesn't, I will do so myself. (I'm referring to boundary and respect matters, not matters with the kids.) And I made my first step this morning.

I just got off the phone with my former SS24. He moved in with his father and I when he was 16. He came from the inner city of a very large town and had a LOT of issues with the law and his mom. At the time, I told my DH that all he needed was a good stable home in southern suburbia. Unfortunately, 16 years of neglect and abuse from his BM are hard to overcome. This child, although personable and well-liked, gave us every kind of hell we could imagine. Stealing my cell phone, stealing our car, getting caught with pot at school, selling pot, etc.

Several things have happened this week that I feel finally pushed me to the edge. SO and I were out with friends last night and unfortunately ended up at the same place as The Albatross and her BF. After 2 1/2 years, the events of this week were the straw that broke the camels back for me. I ended up asking her to go outside and I finally confronted her. It was the first time I've directly spoken to her about any of the feelings I have towards her. Although it wasn't nearly as nasty as it could have been, it certainly wasn't pretty.