DH Clueless
DH only wants me to spend time with him and the skids I can't take my GD2 with us because I am disrespectful to DH and the skids I should take the high road and stay engaged with the skids even if they are going to disrespect me. I call BS!! I am not happy about this why do I have to submit myself to them>>? 
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No problem Conforming,
No problem Conforming, Together we went on an outing DH myself and the 2 SD16 and SS15 as well as my GD2 Grand daughter. DH felt that I disrespected him by bringing by GD2 because I wasn't there by myself with just the 4 of us. DH feels that the skids would appreciate me more if I didn't bring my SD2.
I advised that I told SD16
I advised that I told SD16 that her makeup looked really nice that she looked pretty she was like thanks SD16 wasn't speaking to me SS15 barely said hello, then when the skids said that they had to hurry and go home I told DH that I wasn't going to run after them with my GD2 I told him to go and have fun with the skids. DH didn't like the separation however, we were there for 2 hrs and the skids didn't speak to me so I didn't feel hurt as I had my GD2 there she loves me I thought we were all getting what we wanted however, DH wants to leave out the GD2
Every time I try to discuss
Every time I try to discuss relationships with DH and the skids DH brings up my BD21 and my BM and BD. DH uses an example if he were to take a dog to my BM and BD home and played with the dog that it would be disrespectful which wouldn't be the case because none of them do have respect for him. I pay for most of the bills in this home so that the DH can pay his CS as well as medical bills to the BM as well as pay his cc bills too. We have separated and then got back together however, here I am again.... I feel like such a dumb ass
Just tell your husband that
Just tell your husband that your grand daughter is YOUR family and how nice it is for you to take care of her while she is little and he gets to do stuff with his kids. If he pushes the issue tell him that you are very bored when he insists you come along for his parenting time and more than likely his children would like to spend more time alone with him than with you along for the ride. He needs to accept he cannot FORCE his kids to like you and vice versa.
Now being polite and respectful and at the very least CIVIL is all you expect.
These men who think their kids and new wife will get along just because... are dreaming. Remind him who provides a roof over his head... and pick up an apartment book at the supermarket and circle a few apartments in your price range. Then leave it lying around.
I keep trying to help DH
I keep trying to help DH accept and just trust that the skids want time with him however, he keeps pushing me. He did compare my taking my GD to a dog when visiting family. My parents could give two shits if he really came around they have asked for help from him however each and every time he does anything for them it always gets thrown in my face always! And I don't throw in his face how many times I make beds clean and tried to make them feel important in my life. The skids have made it clear that I am not good enough for them so I find my peace in disengaging. It is healthier for me. My parents know that he is a big mouth drunk that has a story always. The skids BM has told me that due to all of the drinking he did when he was young made his brain stop growing so he acts like a child not getting his way. I told him that even if we go to my parents home and they treat him badly he doesn't have to force himself on them and vise versa I don't have to do that with the skids.
I am scared to remind him
I am scared to remind him that I provide a roof over his head as he just sold his home that he had prior to our marriage and I have the same now there is only one home. Because of DH's poor budgeting he walked away with nothing from the sale of the home because he kept borrowing thousands of dollars from his parents without consulting me. So when the house sold he had to give it to his BM. His name isn't on this house that we live in and he wants to claim it as his as well. I just want to be free of this stress again. He won't try to understand we can't even talk nor do we do anything at all...
Do you think if I just filed
Do you think if I just filed for a divorce he would just have to move out of my house? Even if I had to sell the house to give him his portion of living with me, would I have to give him the money from the down payment?
It sounds to me like you are
It sounds to me like you are not very happy with your DH and are feeling threatened by his attempts to 1) control you, to the point where he tries to get you to choose between HIS children and your family (please do not fall for that) 2) he has demonstrated his poor financial sense and you cannot trust someone who runs up debt behind your back 3) he appears to be trying to make a claim on your property, which while I appreciate IS your marital home, is considering the fact he screwed up any assistance he could have provided you/the family by incurring debts leaving him with no savings.
No matter whether you decide to remain with your DH or not, I absolutely would advise you to seek legal counsell regarding your fianncial ties with him. Do you have a pre nup? I am in the UK, so obviously our laws are different. Is he contributing to the house/utilities/bills? This isnt about being greedy, its about being smart because you are not only unhappy and troubled with whats happening, I would also be very concerned about him running up further debts against you, your property behind your back. He has done it once and he could do it again. You need to protect yourself and your home, its the intelligent thing to do, besides which go get some advice and dont tell your DH. THEN you can make a decision and plan of action.
In the mean time, I would quit discussing with DH over your engagement with his childre and whether you have your GD. He doesnt have to like your decision but by continually justifying/discussing it with him to get him to *see* what the problems are, you are making him thing he has a shot at negotiating what he wants. IMO he doesnt. Tell him calmly once and then do not engage no matter what crap he throws at you, ignore and remain calm.
You mention him drinking. Does he have a drink problem?
Yes it is known throughout
Yes it is known throughout all of the families the skids BM as well as my BD21 and my parents too. He does pay some of the utilities however, I have my real dad living with me and he pays 300.00 as well as a 21yr old that pays 200.00 He will pay maybe 150.00 or a lil more at the beginning of the month to meet our house payment as I pay for all of what I get on my first payment then at the 15th of the month I end up having to give him money because he never has any. My real dad that pays to live here money that I can count on he sees what is happening and doesn't like it my DH has no respect for anyone including himself he will make coffee or a dinner take the trash out at times but, all in all doesn't respect my real dad DH will pee in the toilet and not flush put the lid down and leave it. My RD said from the beginning that it is disrespectful and he doesn't appreciate it but, DH gets drunk and just does it all the time. I asked him not to do that please just flush it or use one of our other bathrooms however DH drinks and just does it. It is embarrassing.
It may come down to this
It may come down to this because it is the same complaint it isn't going away and I just want a peaceful happy life.