Annoyed and confused
So my girlfriend and I have been together for a year now. She has a 4 year old daughter. Her daughter at first was great. She was a blast to be around, always polite and never fused, acted out or anything. Recently she started spending every night with us (before she would spend 2-3 nights away at either of her grandmas houses or her aunt she was close to). Ever since we moved into our new place her daughter, I'll call her M, has been a nightmare. She is horribly rude to my girlfriend, won't listen to anything, throws temper tantrums all day all night, screams, kicks, throws things, hits, cries whenever she doesn't get her way. She wakes up at 2-4am comes chargin into our room and refuses to go back to bed. When I'm scheduled to work at 7 and work for 12 hrs it isn't the easiest thing to deal with. No matter what my girlfriend tries M will not listen. Everything is "NO!" followed by a temper tantrum. The worst part is when she is finally asleep or at school, my girlfriend is so tired she doesn't want to do anything but sleep. I sometimes work nights and it's impossible to sleep. She knows I'm sleeping and does everything she can to wake me up. She's a brat. No other words to describe it. I've been around other kids of her age and they never act this bad this often. When someone is over or she's with her gma or aunts, she's the sweetest most well behaved kid, so it's like I'm trapped in my own home with this kid who fakes nice until we are alone! I dread going home and by the end of the day I just want to smack my head against the wall. It's so frustrating. I love my girlfriend more than anything, I have a ring picked out and would marry her in a heart beat...but after all this, I'm second guessing myself. I really believe she's the one for me, but I don't know if I can live my life with this terror child. I'm confused, frustrated and ready to run for the hills!
- Saints4life's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
New place would explain a
New place would explain a lot. This is not that uncommon for 4 year olds going through major life changes. Hell it is not unusual for older kids to act out under these circumstances. You will have to ride out the storm and GF needs to provide security and love until she settles in. Perhaps being a step dad lifestyle is not for you.
Yes, Echo is right. All the
Yes, Echo is right. All the more reason you might want to think twice about taking the plunge right this moment. No rush, right? Your girlfriend sounds like a good kind hearted person, who may just be overwhelmed by this devil girl. Such qualities in a woman might make for a wonderful romantic partner. But the same qualities can also make your girlfriend a doormat to her own child.
Unfortunately, there's not much you can do to fix this. You're girlfriend needs to set boundaries and be firm with your SD or SD might continue to get worse. And again, there won't be much you can do. You're girlfriend has to want to be a parent and not SD's friend. Really is up to her now.
Perhaps another poster is right, and this is just a passing phase, hopefully.
I wish you the best, I know this must be hard for you.
When she gets up in the
When she gets up in the middle of the night she is placed back in her room very firmly told to stay there and this goes on for HOURS not over exaggerating. I think it's got to the point where M just thinks its funny and isn't going to listen. Im running out of ideas for punishments besides spanking which my gf is not ok with. She doesn't get tv time the next day, has toys she abuses taken away, gets put in time out etc...nothing seems to work. I have told my gf she needs to be more firm but at this stage it's not having any effect. Her gma who she behaves perfectly for is even out of ideas. Everything she's suggested we've exhausted and she still ignores and spends most of her days getting yelled at for being a brat! Exhausting!!