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Struggles of Being Married to a People Pleaser

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Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Mon, 12/25/2023 - 8:57pm

Let me preface by saying how much I adore my husband. I really do. He is an incredible man and does so much for me. Loves me fiercely, is a wonderful protector, gentle, kind and generous.

His biggest downfall is he is a horrible people pleaser. It is to the point that it has become life consuming and ends up affecting our family.

He never wants anyone to be upset and will go to insane lengths to ensure everyone has what they want and beyond. He won't say no, and if he senses someone has even the slightest bit of hesitation or disappointment he starts catering to them.

Disengaged, Yet Still Irritated.

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Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Thu, 11/09/2023 - 10:29pm

I have made huge progress on disengaging from the BS that surrounds my SD12, especially in the past year.

Although there's never been "drama" between her and I, I have my fair share of opinions about her behavior, how she's been raised, her lack of accountability, etc. I've been vocal and still do express my opinions to DH in private from time to time when things build up.

Anyone else struggle with letting things get to you even after committing to disengagement? I had a moment today.

The “L” word and Skids.

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Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Sat, 11/04/2023 - 11:47pm

Does anyone else get BEYOND frustrated when people, family, friends, the general public, etc. just EXPECT you to love your stepchildren?

They assume that just because you are with the child's parent that it automatically becomes "a thing" where you love their children unconditionally despite never raising them, never birthing them, never knowing them before meeting their parent.

The other day my sister in law said casually in a conversation about my SD12 "I know you love Holly so much."

Big Changes & New Frustrations

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Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Fri, 10/13/2023 - 6:26pm

Been a while since I have posted.

My DH and I (together 3.5 years, newly married July 2023) recently found out we are pregnant! Yay!

Planned, and started trying ASAP after we got married in July, and just found out we are pregnant last month, August. (Happened faster than we thought it would but we are so happy!)

This is my first child. He has a 12 Y/O daughter, my SD, that I will call "Holly." I've had my fair share of difficultiuies relating to her and feeling resentment towards her, etc. (See past blogs)

Feeling Broken

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Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Sat, 04/22/2023 - 9:27am

I lost my dad to Colon Cancer Dec 19, 2021. Not even 5 months later my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Kidney Cancer (she only has one kidney.)  It's been a horribly stressful and upsetting battle for the past year and a half with all of this going on. I've been completing testing and luckily I am a kidney match- but she needs to be cancer free for 6 months until I can give her one of my kidneys. My mom is my WORLD and the best human being there ever was-an absolute saint of a woman. 

Stepchild Resentment & Sex

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Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Tue, 03/14/2023 - 3:53pm

Okay, I'm about to get really personal here so if the topic of sex makes you uncomfortable please don't continue reading.

 

Does anyone else struggle with sex drive/desire for sex with your partner based on the resentment of their child(ren)/your stepchild? As well as the resentment towards your partner that DERIVES from the child?

 I'm trying to determine if this is a common issue or if my relationship is getting past the point of no return.

Lost my shit tonight regarding SD11

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Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Tue, 03/07/2023 - 9:49pm

Tonight I lost it. Totally lost it.

If anyone has seen any of my blogs about my SD11 you'll know how frustrated I've been over the past 3 years with her behavior.
Lazy. No Effort. Bad Grades. Bad Hygeine. Self-Centered.  Cries about everything. No responsibilities. Deep co-decency on dad- dad struggles to punish her/stick to boundaries.

Last week her school emailed to let mom and dad know she's failing her classes and had about 15 missing assignments.

Resenting my SD11 more than ever

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Submitted by Rose_Pedal on Fri, 03/03/2023 - 5:38pm

As if there isn't already enough reason to be frustrated with my SD11 all the time, her teacher contacts DH today and tells him she's failing all her classes (except the easy ones like gym and art.)

DH told me when I got home today and said he was having a talk with her and disappeared upstairs for a while.

Came down and I asked:

“How did that go?"

He said….”Well, the way you probably expect.”

I said, “Crying her eyes out and making excuses.”

He said “She didn’t actually make excuses.” (I don’t believe that, but okay.)

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