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SS going back to live with BM

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I finally told DH that I can't do it anymore. I told him not to blame me for the reason that SS has to go back to his mom's. The reason is that DH wants me to be the primary parent in our house and he would be the backup parent, this is our dynamic with our 2 daughters and it works for us as I am a stay a home mom while he works. The problem is that he expects the dynamic to be the same wih SS. I told him that it cant work like that. He has to be the primary parent to SS while I am the backup. He says he can't do it for whatever reason. He just doesn't want that kind of responability?

OT: husband wants a break

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As in a separation? I have no idea what he wants. He says not he happy and btw this has nothing to do with SS. It has to do with his rising success in our business and him wanting to continue the business on his own without my help. He thinks I micromanage him and thinks no one will want to work for him because of me. I am so hurt by this because i helped him so much in the first 2 years and picked up all the slack from.household.chores to childcare. He is scared I will screw him over financially by co owning the business with me.

50-50 long distance?

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So BM is again ramping up her campaign to have SS move in with us. She has always offered and then retracted it over and over for years. It is exhausting. Anyways she is saying SS14 is positive this is what he wants. Then she says SS is asking for it to be 50-50. Keeping in mind we live 9 hrs away from them. She wants to have him in school in her town for 6 months out of the year and 6 months at our house. She is completely out of her mind. She obviously doesn't care much about education or stability. Ss has changed schools about once every 2 years due to her decisions.

OT: DH does not believe in life insurance

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I'm so mad right now. DH and I just had a conversation about life insurance. I realize it's a sensitive topic and no one wants to think about what happens to their families after they pass, but it's also a conversation thats needed. Right now we have a universal life policy that only covers him for 200k and me for 100k. I'm currently a SAHM. We also have an income stream from out rental properties that nets around 3000 a month after expenses.

Our vacation is in 2 weeks and BM still doesn't know if SS can go

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My father in law has graciously gifted us a trip to Disneyworld with him in 2 weeks. We have known about this and have been planning for the past year. FIL has also paid for tickets for SS. We live in a different province than SS, but DH has told BM about this trip and to make sure SS has his passport in time. BM has sole custody so only she can do the passport. While SS was with us, we took him to get his passport pictures taken and sent them back to BM. She has been assuring us that the passport is in order and on the way. She has said this since Feb of this year.

Update: SS went back to live with BM, Miscarriage, SS possibly a sexual predator

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So I just wanted to write a blog on what's been going on in my life recently. If you've read my previous blogs, I wrote about BM getting mad with us actually disciplining SS10 and demanded he go back to live with her. She has full custody but "couldn't handle SS" anymore so she had sent him to live with us a year ago. He is a troubled kid with lots of behavioural and emotional problems and we tried the best we could with him. Anyways, so he's gone. Everything in our life is back on track. The tension is gone between DH and I and we have both been able to focus our attention on our DD2.5.

BM vent (long)

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So I just finished bawling my eyes out ad I need to get some stuff off my chest. To know the back story, please go to my previous blogs. In a nutshell, BM is a flake and couldn't handle SS anymore so she sent him to live with us (4 hour flight away) almost a year ago. When SS first came to us, he was a nightmare. He still cant be, but he's getting better. He has ADHD and possibly ODD. She never parented him, always left him with her parents and was his buddy.

Thinking about putting SS is special needs school

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I think it'll help with his ADHD and DH agrees. It will cost 8k a school year for tuition plus extras. The cost isn't unbearable to us but it'll still be a big expense. Also I'm afraid there won't be enough left in the budget to put DD2 in private school also. SS9 is not doing well in the normal public school setting at all. He steals, lies, doesn't hand in homework, etc. We just think it'll be better for him to have more individualized attention and maybe do well in a school for a change. He has no friends also and is clueless about social etiquette and social cues.

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