You are here

Movingonisbest's Blog

Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships.

Movingonisbest's picture

Submitted by Movingonisbest on Wed, 06/16/2021 - 9:23pm

I've been reading some of the topics on this forum along with many of the comments. The more I read the more I have noticed the amount of hurt some women carry because they are in stephell. But one thing I am seeing play out over and over again is a lack of boundaries with the SO/DH as it relates to his kids and/or BM. But also alot of excuses are made for why these guilty fathers or Disney Dads don't prioritize their relationships with their partners/SO.

Do these fathers really fear their kids/adult kids?

Movingonisbest's picture

Submitted by Movingonisbest on Wed, 05/05/2021 - 3:12pm

Just been pondering the above question. How did the roles get reversed where the fathers behave like they are afraid of their kids/adult kids? Why did these troubled kids/adult kids ever try to exert so much power and control over a parent, especially their father?  Then it seems that they try it with their SM. 

Is near equality in a relationship with stepkids present really possible?

Movingonisbest's picture

Submitted by Movingonisbest on Sun, 10/25/2020 - 4:04pm

Just been thinking, and reading the message boards etc. But steplife really takes a lot of hard work and dedication, and still from what I have read on the message boards can be a thankless job.

I know being with my ex, while we had some good times, the relationship was mostly daunting. Once he could no longer hide the dysfunctional relationship he had with his adult kids, things went downhill fast.

What does it really boil down to?

Movingonisbest's picture

Submitted by Movingonisbest on Thu, 09/03/2020 - 6:43am

Another long time poster with a ton of knowledge and wisdom said "SM's certainly inhabbit a part of our society that is a difficult one.  Why so many men fail to celebrate their bride after living a nighmare is beyond me." I couldn't agree with that poster more. Some SM are willing to give the man and his kids a chance only to be treated like trash. The truth is a lot of these men like the ones mostly talked about on this board are just baggage that a woman doesn't need. I bet alot of women who get involved with these men think the men would be glad to have a quality significant other.

Why Does He Keep Trying To Come Back?

Movingonisbest's picture

Submitted by Movingonisbest on Wed, 08/26/2020 - 7:05pm

So it's been quite some time since I broke up with my ex due to problems with his adult kids being manipulative, financially dependent; and one being disrespectful to him and the relationship we had (also verbally abusing him and demanding money), and so forth. I made it clear the relationship is over a while ago. It's obvious we were never meant to be together,in part because of the situation with his adult kids. I even told him to find someone like him or whose situation is similar to his situation. Instead he tries to remain in contact with me.

Is this an example of manipulation through gaslighting?

Movingonisbest's picture

Submitted by Movingonisbest on Fri, 08/07/2020 - 9:10am

Is it considered gaslighting when you bring up an issue to your significant other  (or brought it up to your now ex significant other) that adult kids are supposed to work and take care of themselves and he says "you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right,. " Then he says "you are always right." I  felt it was very immature and disrespectful but not sure if was actual gaslighting. Thing is after he found out others agreed with me, he said he knows adult kids are supposed to work and take care of themselves. However, he continued to coddle and enable them.

What age is a reasonable age for adult kid to launch?

Movingonisbest's picture

Submitted by Movingonisbest on Tue, 08/04/2020 - 8:43pm

My adult kids were launched by the time they were 22. Not sure what age others think adult kids should launch. From glancing at the message board some posts or comments indicate some step moms have been treated with deplorable behavior by their DH/SO when bringing up the issue. What age should SKs launch and how have you step moms been treated when bringing up the topic to your DH/SO? I personally never thought I would have to question a man about why his adult kids were not yet launched when they were all 23 or older. Smh.

Pages