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This is why I get so pissed off...

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So my FSD is suppose to be on the computer for school work and yet she ALWAYS ends up on AIM and messages her friends back and forth. BM has gone to the school and told her teacher what FSD was doing. That never stopped her she is still on it. Yesterday my SO told the BM that FSD was on AIM again at school and asked if she knew. She said she didn't know and that she would have a talk with her. So FSD messages her own father to ask if he is picking her up from school. He replied yes and for her to log off AIM now. She said okay.

Hell must have frozen over.....

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Today I have decided (once again) that I am going to try with my SO's kids ONE LAST TIME. I will go in with an open mind and whatever has happened or said I will attempt to let it go and start fresh. I am only doing this because having this much resentment is killing me and I don't like being so negative. Not only that I truly love my SO very much and he is so good to me and so good to my bio children and my bio children love him so much. But this is it! I told my SO this is it too.

Hmmmm....

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After reading a post of one of the forums about a SM trying to conceive but having problems and resenting SD, a lightbulb went off in my head. I have BC and of course SO has his daughters but there was a time that I wanted a baby with him and of course I can't because he got a Vasectomy because the BM of his daughters refused to go on birth control. I realize I have alot of resentment towards his daughters because of this.

Why...Oh why....

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SO took the middle daughter to her Religion Class tonight (how ironic...to bad it's not doing her any good.) She had a "talk" with her about my feelings and all her lying. She said she will change "once again." She honestly doesn't give a crap and when SO was telling me what she said about lies I just rolled my eyes because is was a lie to cover up another lie. Of course he is upset with me. At this point I don't care if I ever see his kids again. I bend over backwards for not only SO, but his kids and even their BM.

I guess I won't get to......'m

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I guess I won't get to try disengaging anytime in the near future. SO informed me last night he was NOT bringing his kids around because he doesn't want them to feel "uncomfortable." Gimmie a freakin break! Do you think they care about my feelings? HELL NO! Did his daughter care I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor and cleaning the kitchen after she made a horrible mess from baking after I told her THREE times if you want to bake something you have to clean up the kitchen. I was just getting over strep throat so I wasn't feeling my best either.

My weekend....

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So I decided that I would be the adult and not freak out when the future skids come over for the weekend. After all, the middle one called and checked to see how I was feeling when I was sick last week. I gave her the benefit of the doubt yet again. He goes to pick the girls up and she said "I'm so glad your better now I don't have to stay with memaw (her BMs mother.) Okay, well....I'll be optimistic. We take her to dinner and then out for icecream and hot chocolate. All she did was complain complain complain....I told her three times it was cold outside.

So....

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So after telling my BF I was moving I ened up getting strep throat and an ear infection so I have not been able to do anything. He has stepped up to the plate and taken care of me which I knew he would because he has always taken good care of me. His kids have not been around because my Bio kids ended up catching Scarlete Fever and it's best his kids don't get sick. So even though his middle daugther (the ham nazi) has text her dad a few times to ask how I was feeling, I don't feel the least bit guilty for not liking her.

And it gets even better....

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You know, I love my SO but he is freakin clueless and I guess I have some thinking to do. I tell him I am just disengaging. I'll cook and clean like I normally do. But I will NOT go shopping for anything special for his kids again, I will not pick them up their favorite foods when requested at the grocery store, I will cook ONE meal at dinner and if his kids don't like it they can either eat it anyway, go hungry, or he can make them something. I will not do their laundry.

The Drama Continues....

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Luckily I survived Christmas....I swear I don't know how much more of these kids I can take. I have tried OVER AND OVER AND OVER and nothing I can do can satisfy them. BF's eldest daughter who doesn't come and visit anymore because she has to share a room with her sister came over for my Birthday. Her phone needed to be charged and got impatient and was a brat the entire time at the house. She asked BF when they were going home and and he told her at 8:00 like every other time he has the kids. She started chopping at my cake and went and sat in the car doing who knows what.

I hate this feeling....

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I really hate myself for not liking BF's kids. But I don't know what these kids think. They steal from me, they lie, they are disresectful. I do more for them then their own mother. I do and give to them exactly as much as my own bio kids. It always bites me in the hinney. These girls claim to love me so much and they want me around but then they turn around and steal from me or lie. They have never been disciplined.

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