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Miss Know It All's Blog

Is this what they call PAS...?

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FDH brought FSD3 over for a visit yesterday and she was pretty well-behaved the whole time. During a sweet moment when she was cuddling with me while her dad sat beside us while we looked at my scrapbook, she saw a pictures of me at Disneyland when I was a kid and from when I was a teenager.

FSD3: Oh, I'm going to Disneland, too. Daddy is taking me. [Pauses]. Mommy wants to take me. [Looks at FDH]. Daddy isn't sharing me with Mommy. That's bad.

FDH: [Ignores comment or was legitimately tuned out, plays with cell phone].

Kids just seep, don't they?

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FSD3 got a nasty cold that resulted in pinkeye. EWWW!

Now that I've got that childish moment of my own out of the way, I find myself feeling guilty that I react to the child's illness with revulsion. I think I do that because I have a preternatural fear of contracting rashes, parasites, or anything otherwise itchy from other people and I think I do it because. Well. Kids ARE gross. ALL kids are gross. *I* was gross as a kid and MY children will be gross until they reach an age when they aren't plague monkeys combined with poor hygiene choices.

Changing FSD3's schooling situation (vent)

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My FDH and his ex-W have NOT had an easy time of daycare situations. The first began reluctantly at a cut rate and ended badly with allegations of child abuse (nowhere near founded enough to warrant a CPS investigation, but significant enough to warrant ending it) and the second took AGES to get going because ex-W couldn't afford her half and FDH was being flaky about info-gathering (like, ahem, when the sessions start and what the late pick-up fees are).

I want a baby, but now I'm not sure about marriage

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I've always known that I wanted children, but I never fantasized about being married in the same way. I never planned my dream wedding, never spent much imagination on a husband figure. I always just assumed I'd somehow have kids, even if a father wasn't in the picture.

But when you love someone, you get married, right? I thought that with my ex-fiance. I still think it when I look at FDH and I know that despite his divorce, FDH still very much wants to be married and have more children. But lately, I've been thinking that we could maybe have a baby before getting married.

Sometimes I cheat on FDH with FSD3

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I've had numerous parents tell me that "It's all about Mom" when children are young, but that doesn't take the sting out of it for FDH when FSD3 screams that she wants Miss Know It All instead of him. It doesn't make him feel any better when she clings to me and talks to me non-stop when I show up to see him.

Fat kids and complexes

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I was a fat kid (no, seriously -- 11-years-old and 155 lbs. is FAT), FDH was a fat kid (think he broke 200 lbs. before 16), and nearly everybody in his family is STILL fat (only one of them still counts as "kid," that being FSIL 16). FDH is determined his DD3 will not go that route, will not have spend agonizing, sweaty summers with no friends living in fear of bathing suits. I share his determination, but for me, it's not about not getting fat -- its about not growing up to hate and fear her body based on its size and proportion.

"Too strict?" Psh

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My FDH's parents think I'm "too strict" with their precious baby granddaughter. Just because I don't allow hitting, do not tolerate shrieking fits, and rightly run interference when FMIL tries to override her son's parenting efforts to no effective point and purpose.

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