Well I haven't been on ST in a while mostly because I've been nesting and getting ready for baby Everything has been going great the baby has flipped and only 3 weeks until my due date. My house looks immaculate because DH has been in nesting mode also. DH has been wonderful lately we hit a rough spot for a while but we talked a lot yelled some and made it through now our relationship is better than ever. Overall the past few weeks have been awesome until today.

So, I have been telling DH since last week that I wanted to have this weekend kid free to relax and try to clear my head and prepare for the baby because my c-section is going to be on the 30th. SS5 lives with us and I need a break BD5 will be at her Dad's and my mom volunteered to take BD8 and SS5.

So for a while now I have given up on my relationship with DH I've been here haven't left physically but I have in every other way possible. DH hasn't even noticed that I've pulled away usually I hug him every time we pass in the house I'm generally very affectionate but I stopped sitting near him on the couch or trying to snuggle in bed I would sleep on the couch if I wasn't so uncomfortable. DH seems perfectly fine with all this. Well this evening all the kids were in the kitchen with DH while I was taking a bath.

Why am I expected to just love this child that hates me so much? I am just expected to love SS as if he is my own even though he doesn't behave like one. I was the evil SM when I got on to SS for outrageous behavior my children wouldn't even think of. Once I got tired of being accused of being to hard on SS I disengaged. There is no happy medium, I can either hold SS to the expectations of my BD's or let DH discipline SS on his own. SS has no desire to interact with me and I do not try to force him. DH informed me today that I think I am a good mom but I'm no better than BM.