lostinbrazil's Blog
Back in the states.. Why am I still not happy?
So I have been back in the US for about 3 weeks now,, At first everything was exciting and I was feeling pretty good but FDH and I were still in this weird state of supposedly trying to make things work between us and basically just fighting with each other. He tells me he wants to be with me but then he is so mean to me and it breaks my heart, its torture. Seriously in the time that I have been here he has hung up the phone on me numerous times and not called when he said he would countless times..
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So here is where I am now
After the whole Prenup argument I shut down. Completely. That was my last straw. Yes, he has done numerous things and yes I have been teetering back and forth if this is really worth it, but the honest answer is that I want to be in a relationship, I want to be engaged, I want to get married. I see I have jumped the gun.
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Just updating again
Like I said I am keeping a blog so I hope that people dont chastise me for still being with FDH because if you have followed my situation I have chosen to be with him for now. I go home to america in a couple weeks. After that we will see.
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Update after changing the ticket
So, like I said I am documenting this whole mess I have been in so I can better analyze it after I get home to the good ol USA and also so I can hopefully help out someone else in the future who might be in a similar situation.
It has been just over 2 weeks since the meeting with BM, a few days after that I bought my plane ticket home and a few days after that I allowed FDH to change my ticket to stay here for another month.
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I let him change the ticket....
After all of the stress that I have been put through the past 2 months and especially couple weeks, I just couldnt bear to say no when he offered to pay change my ticket and stay for one more month. Yes I know many of you will think I am making a bad decision and I am being weak but I will continue to document all of this so hopefully it can help someone else in the future I dont know..
Still feel so drained and I just keep wishing everything will get better and turn out ok.
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I am leaving now... very sad and this is not what I wanted
I dont have the energy to rewrite this whole dramatic scenario right now. if you would like to read my last post about the meeting go ahead. i am so sad. i feel so lost. After everything that i tried to do to save this relationship, my fdh told me to my face his thinks i am making a bigger deal out of all of this that is necessarry. i told him if he thinks im creating this in my head then i am leaving. he said i am an adult and can do as i please. today we both talked and both agreed that we need space.
Huge meeting tomorrow with BM.. Attend or not??
Ok, so after such a ridiculous amount of drama going on here, finally tomorrow my fiance(FDH) and his MIL and BM are going to have a sit down conversation with regard to BM's behavior
(Again read other blog entries of mine if you want the whole backstory but basically BM calls 10x a day, always is in my FDH's business, had framed pics of FDH and BM all over her house, they have no schedule with my SD5 and MIL sided with me and said BM was intolerable and had to stop, FDH finally agreed with us and then BM told FDH that MIL was talking bad about me to BM)
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WW3 here!!! Please help!!!!
Ok, so if you haven't followed my story I will give you a quick backstory, if not, just skip to next paragraph. My fiance(FDH) has a SD5 who has a BM that is unbearable. BM had framed pictures of my FDH and BM all over her house, BM calls up to 10x a day, asking what SD5 ate, where she slept(in bed with FDH and I or alone) what she is doing, where is FDH, what are his plans, etc,etc, etc. EVERY DAY! Whether we have SD5 or not.
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Thanks to MIL I finally grew some balls and stood up for myself
As per one of my New Years resolutions I have finally stood up for my own feelings and I think I have gotten through to my DH!!!!!!!!
He kisses SD5 more often than he kisses me....
So, I have a good relationship with my DH's daughter (SD5) she is a pretty good kid and she likes me a lot. But lately I have been resentful because my DH really coddles his kid, kisses her all the time, hugs her tells her he loves her. I used to think that was sweet and how I might like my future babys daddy to treat my own kids if i have any some day. But lately since DH and I have been having problems I feel pissed off he is so sweet and kind to her and he doesnt give me the same attention.
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