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He kisses SD5 more often than he kisses me....

lostinbrazil's picture

So, I have a good relationship with my DH's daughter (SD5) she is a pretty good kid and she likes me a lot. But lately I have been resentful because my DH really coddles his kid, kisses her all the time, hugs her tells her he loves her. I used to think that was sweet and how I might like my future babys daddy to treat my own kids if i have any some day. But lately since DH and I have been having problems I feel pissed off he is so sweet and kind to her and he doesnt give me the same attention. I try to tell myself she is just a kid, she deserves the attention but like I said, I want that attention too! But bottom line is, he kisses and hugs her and tells her he loves her way more than he does to me. Am I being crazy or what do you think?

Comments

Cocoa's picture

i usually agree with EVERYTHING you write, but i've noticed you say that a wife is not more entitled to the father than the child is. doesn't this go against what marriage is, what it means? isn't the spouse supposed to come before ALL others? in marriage, i don't think you are able to go out and find another man (except if abuse, adultry or addiction is involved). it just seems society sees marriage as so disposable. on the other hand, society doesn't understand the seriousness of marriage before they jump in. i'm just curious as to your views on this sueu2.

lostinbrazil's picture

I think my main problem is that my DH used to be the same way with me (very affectionate) but now that we are having problems he has pulled away. The fact that those probelms mainly stem from BM I guess frustrated me that because of BM and her daughter with my DH, I will always have to put up with not coming first as long as I stay in the relationship. I do try to kiss/hug him but when I am always the one going to him when I know he is naturally an affectionate person, it kind of makes me feel like crap and unwanted. And yes, I am considering leaving the relationship so I no longer will have to deal with these issues.

And yes I totally agree with the above comment, Isn't a spouse supposed to come FIRST in a marriage?????

lostinbrazil's picture

Sorry about that. No, we are still engaged, I just didnt know the best abbreviation to use in place of DH so that people would understand who I am talking about. I have seen quite a few other posts here where the girlfriend or fiance refers to her man as DH. If there is a better abbreviation to use please let me know. Wink
side note, We have however gone through very lengthy and expensive processes for his visa paperwork to go through which is solely dependant on the fact that we are getting married. So its not like from now to when we are legally married anything within our emotional or situational relationship is going to change. Besides the fact of moving to another country.

lostinbrazil's picture

You and he are having problems. It shows up in your physical relationship.

Yes, you hit the nail on the head with that statement. He used to be like that with me but since we have so many strains and fights in our relationship usually surrounding BM but also other things, he is colder towards me. Again, I never said I didnt want him to hug/kiss his daughter, just that I want that attention back.

Thanks for the advice Wink

smithsgirl's picture

I cuddle and tell my son I love him more than i do my partner. He is 2 though, pretty certain he'll get to 5 and he won't want me anywhere near him, lol.

Gabriels Mom's picture

Lol unfortunately they start telling you "no" and squirming off your lap. I love to cuddle my son and he started telling me no when he was around 3. He is 4 now and is in the "I can do it myself" stage.

smithsgirl's picture

Oh I didn't say he willingly cuddled or kissed me, lol, I have to hold him very tight so he can't get away. It's ok, we can make the most of the cuddles when they're ill and they want mummy Smile