Petty/Snarky Responses Only: How Should DH/ET Pay Me Back?
It has been a lllooonnnggg week for DH and I, and nothing caps off that week like making a 2 hour roundtrip drive to ET-ville to drop off YSS. This will be Week #4 in a row of doing this, and I greatly miss my Friday nights.
Now, I *know* the correct answer to this is to not go. But, since many of us are facing pick ups/drop offs tonight, I thought it would be fun to share how our SOs or the other BP could pay us back for taking time out of our busy schedules to either facilitate these exchanges or keep them company on the trip or act as a buffer/witness to the chaos that can be exchanges. Petty and snarky answers only. This is 100% a vent post.
I'll start: DH owes me a full body massage because my arse and back are pained by the time I'm out of the car. ET? Aside from gas money, I think it's perfectly reasonable that she have a free bottle of wine on her doorstep for me to enjoy while she gave on and on to DH about her life. I'll give even fewer sh*ts about her if I can be medicated on her dime.
Alright, let the petty run free!
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Material girl here
Cash. Lots of cash.
What would you spend said
What would you spend said cash on?
Nowadays
Nowadays, I'd spend it at the casino. Bet dimes instead of nickels. Lol.
Go with me on this: video
Go with me on this: video roulette and blackjack. You can "nickel-and-dime" your way to a few hundred bucks. It's a slow process, but I find that it keeps me occupied much better than the insanely priced slot machines.
Also, if you can find a Sling-O slot machine, play it. Always had great luck with those.
She goes on and on about her life?
Does your BM go on and on to your husband about her life during drop offs when he is cornered? Same.
Always, which is sometimes
Always, which is sometimes good because then we have a glimpse into the crazy that may be coming around. DH suffers the most and could easily shut it down, but he chooses to suffer.
Well, BM is 5 minutes away,
Well, BM is 5 minutes away, max, so I'd settle for DH taking a detour on the way home so I can get a sweet, creamy beverage at the Starbucks drive-thru.
I don't know how those of you who have to drive hours do it.
Ooooo, personal DoorDash
Ooooo, personal DoorDash delivery. Starbucks isn't my jam, but I'd definitely take a dozen tacos.
I HATE that she lives so far away. And it's not an easy drive. There is either construction the whole way if you take the interstate or you're completely blind in the dark taking some rather small and windy back roads. And ET-ville isn't exactly a happenin' place, so it's not like there is anything there I want to see. No decent food between here and there. It's miserable.
Oh yeah, a dozen tacos wouldn
Oh yeah, a dozen tacos wouldn't come close to making up for that trip.
There's no getting back all
There's no getting back all the wasted time and energy, so he needs to take over my therapy bills!
And ALL therapy bills -
And ALL therapy bills - whether it be retail, travel, or spa therapy....
This just-shy-of-320K
This just-shy-of-320K necklace/tiara.
https://www.1stdibs.com/jewelry/necklaces/link-necklaces/circa-1920-natu...
So that he gets a daily
So that he gets a daily reminder about the GD queen that you are, Aniki!
Bonus: I can wear it to SD25
Bonus: I can wear it to SD25's wedding as it matches my dress!
P.S. It it too much to expect DH to bow and kiss my ring?
Well, it depends. Do you
Well, it depends. Do you want your ring kissed daily or hourly?
Once a day will suffice. I'd
Once a day will suffice. I'd rather he kiss other places on me... *dirol*
A billboard telling all that
A billboard telling all that BM (with Awful picture) IS a whore and that his kids need to get DNA tests done. Since Thursday was her night to go out, her new name is Thursday's whore.
At first, I wasn't sure I
At first, I wasn't sure I could get behind this. But then I remember my state did a campaign a few years ago with billboards of people who were behind on CS and had lost their licenses due to it. Seems only fair that if we're shaming on group of deadbeat parents that we shame the other.
Big time smear campaign here.
Big time smear campaign here. It would be nice to have the truth out there.
Surprise holiday
At least every 3 months
Ooooooo yes...to where? My
Ooooooo yes...to where? My personal happy place is Disney World.
When SS was two to four years
When SS was two to four years old, BM lived an hour and a half from DH and I. DH had 6 hours of visitation every Sunday and BM expected DH to drive two round-trips to pick up and drop off SS... DH and I spent 6 hours in the car every single Sunday for those two years. Then, BM moved back toward DH and I, about 30 minutes away. DH had every Sunday and Monday evening visitation. DH again was responsible for all transportation and drove an hour round-trip on Sundays and Mondays. BM's logic: she shouldn't have to do any transportation because she drove SS to and from daycare everyday (2 miles from her house) and she did all the parenting responsibilities, so DH had to do all visitation transportation, since DH was "lucky" enough that BM even allowed visitation... I only went with DH to serve as witness to BM's games. Since 2017, SS has lived out of state with BM and per the CO, DH and BM are each responsible for one leg of the visitation exchange (8 hours round-trip). I used to go with DH to do out of state pick-ups, but stopped after BM made allegations. Now DH just records his exchanges on his phone.
DH and I have spent so much time in the car doing pick-ups and drop-offs because of BM over the years. If I had it my way, BM would pay me for my time and my gas. Actually, you know what, if mileage equaled a dollar value, BM would owe DH a new car at this point.
You sure it stops at a new
You sure it stops at a new car? You might be able to get a car and a bigger down payment on your new house!
DH used to do a lot more of the transportation because ET never had gas money. Even now she has complained a few times about having to drive YSS back to our place because her truck gets such crappy gas mileage. Well, ET, you're the one who DEMANDED that you get a truck, and you're the one who moved all the way out to ET-ville. Not really our problem.
If I do drop off
I want a nice expensive bottle of chilled wine, lobster tails and he cleans the tub and runs the bubble bath after a foot massage.
BM has to tell me thanks in person.