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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. No! I mean Confusing Time of the Year.

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Submitted by LavenderLady on Thu, 12/06/2018 - 4:03pm

The holidays bring up a whole lot of things to deal with for step mothers and families. Just wondering how others have learned to cope with this complicated and confusing time of year.

How does the time around the holidays get spent trying to navigate this messy situation?

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Shame, Embarrassment, Pretending

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Submitted by LavenderLady on Mon, 10/22/2018 - 8:15pm

My family situation with the stepkids is horrible. My attempt to speak up for myself failed miserably and now they won’t talk or have anything to do with me. My husband is stuck in the middle and refuses to take sides so we just live in this limbo state of him spending time with them and me separable and just kind of pretending that’s okay. 

Be cordial or be bitchy?

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Submitted by LavenderLady on Thu, 08/30/2018 - 2:02pm

Should I try to be nice and cordial or just be a bitch? I have wrote a couple blogs and the overall response is I should just let go and try my best to foscus on myself and let my DH and SD do whatever they may and accept she does not want me in her life, I’m really trying to do that! She doesn’t want to talk to me or allow me in her home, I was still trying to be nice and wanting to allow an opening for some kind of a relationship by offering to all go for a meal or something and I have not banned her from my life or my home as she has done me, I was still hoping we could get along on some

How do I learn to disengage?

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Submitted by LavenderLady on Wed, 08/29/2018 - 1:24pm

I guess my only opiton is to learn disengagement in my situation. I am trying to understand how to do that and to not let all these family problems get me down. The difficulties with my adult stephchildren and my husband leaves me feeling powerless and hopeless which results in some depression. My adult stepdaughter will not see me at all or let me come to her home (Never did anything wrong to her except right a letter saying I was hurt when she leaves my home without saying goodbye). She only invites DH and disincludes me, so I am left to just accept that.

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Book Suggestions

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Submitted by LavenderLady on Tue, 08/21/2018 - 12:16pm

Looking for any suggestions on good books to read to try to understand stepmothers and blended family. I saw a book called Stepmonster, has anyone read that and have any input? Or if you have and books that have helped you to deal with being a steparent and learning disengagement etc. I would appreciate your suggestions. Thank you!

When did I become the evil stepmother?

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Submitted by LavenderLady on Mon, 08/20/2018 - 4:06pm

I have been with my husband over 20 years, married for 15. His children were about 13 and 10 when I came into the picture. It has always been a very challenging situation but we had all been able to be cordial to one another when we got together for holidays, visits etc.  Mainly the adult stepchildren just tried to ignore me, not talk to me, just put up with me. Then the adult stepdaughters behavior seemed to get worse. She would leave our home after staying with us and not even say goodbye, thank you or anything.