You are here

Am I wrong?

krazykate12's picture

Submitted by krazykate12 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 11:35am

This is my first time back here in months but I need some feedback.

DH and I just had our second daughter. She was born a month premature and had to stay in the hospital for an extra 12 days because she got sick (the doctor said it was from SD visiting her).

Everytime SD comes over for a visit she gets DD 19months sick. I would say that it is just coincidence but DD is only ever sick right after SD visits, she never gets sick unless SD has just been here.

Because of this (and the doctors advice) DH let BM know that we would not be taking SD for our weekend when we finally got DD 1month home. There was no way we were going to risk her having to go back into the hospital.

Two weeks go by and it is time for us to have SD for the weekend again. The doctor told us to keep DD "in a bubble" until she is at least 7 pounds and a little stronger. Well she is still not 7 pounds so I told DH that if he wanted to see SD he would have to do so somewhere else because I was not allowing her in our house until the doctor said it was okay. He didn't like it but he understood and called BM to figure something out. He ended up just asking to have SD for a few hours on Sunday morning/afternoon to bring her to church with us and go to the park after.

Well on Tuesday morning DD 19months woke up and sure enough she had a runny nose. After not being sick in over a month she sees SD and ends up getting sick. I am now completely convinced that it is not just coincidence.

Problem is, I don't want SD in my house now that I know she is the reason my daughters keep getting sick. I know that I can't keep her out of my house but I am so sick of her getting her germy little hands all over our house and getting my family sick. I am seriously considering staying with my mom every other weekend to keep my girls from getting sick. Too bad I know that DH doesn't clean things properly and they would just end up getting sick as soon they came home to her germs all over the house and the toys.

Comments

20Love12's picture

Submitted by 20Love12 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 11:40am

Smile I have really nothing to add........but wanted to say congrats to your new bundle of joy!

FeuilleMorte's picture

Submitted by FeuilleMorte on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 12:09pm

Yes, Echo. THIS. OP's conclusion that somehow it is just the SD's fault is illogical.

krazykate12's picture

Submitted by krazykate12 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 12:37pm

The doctor said that children in school or daycare shouldn't be around our newborn. DD 19months doesn't go to daycare and has been kept away from other children since her sister has come home, besides I have no other option but to have her around since she, you know, lives here.
SD is in daycare all week and is around many people that we don't know when she is with her mother.
Our church family is a very small one. There are not many people that go there and everyone knows that they are not allowed to touch our daughter or come too close to her. DH and I sit off to the side by ourselves since bringing DD home from the hospital.
And about not taking a preemie to the park, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a baby getting fresh air. It's not like I am rubbing her all over the playground, she is in her stroller beside me, or in my arms.
I asked the doctor about absolutely everything when we brought DD home from the hospital. She told us that one or two adult visitors are fine as long as they haven't been sick and they washed and sanitized before coming close to DD. She said that DD needed to be kept from children who are around groups of children and said that DD 19months was fine because she is not in daycare and we should just wash her hands more often than usual. When I asked her about going to church I described our church to her and she said as long as people didn't touch her and we weren't sitting in the middle of a crowd that there was nothing wrong with it. She also encouraged us to take DD out in the fresh air.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 11:54am

If you took the baby to church, how do you know she didn't catch something for someone there?

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 12:12pm

Yes...I do think you are wrong. I also think you are picking at your SD. I mean really...the DR tested SD and then tested your DD, then came to the conclusion that SD was the only one who could have gotten her sick. I think not. You took DD to church, yet you KNOW that it was SD that got her sick.

IMHO...you have sickly kids and are trying to rationalize it with the thought that they are only that way because of your SD.

If you really think the SD is the ONLY person making your kids sick, then do what snickers said to do.

luckykitten's picture

Submitted by luckykitten on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 12:20pm

Unless sd is sick when she comes to visit I find it harsh to quickly blame her, almost seems like an excuse not to be around her. That being said. If my sd visits her mom, immediately she gets a shower/bath and the filthy clothes get washed with odoban. I so not like her stinking like somebody else's house. Bm does not bathe her, brush her hair, and smokes around her. So yes, it's needed. Sd also seems to come back "sick" everytine she sees her mom. I think it's due to improper clothing and the smoking in close quarters to her. Weakens her immune system.
Unless you can pinpoint that it's sd causing the new baby to be sick I think you are hypocritical saying that she can not visit. Stop taking the baby to anything but the doctors then if baby gets sick after a visit take a look at what precautions you can take against sd passing germs.
She's just a child, you and dh are adults, figure out a solution that does not cause her to lose her dad.
I understand being protective over a bio kid who is frail, but frankly I think it's just an excuse on your part.

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 12:41pm

. She told us that one or two adult visitors are fine as long as they haven't been sick and they washed and sanitized before coming close to DD. She said that DD needed to be kept from children who are around groups of children and said that DD 19months was fine because she is not in daycare and we should just wash her hands more often than usual. When I asked her about going to church I described our church to her and she said as long as people didn't touch her and we weren't sitting in the middle of a crowd that there was nothing wrong with it.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sorry, but your DR sounds like an idiot. You being in chuch to the side is still being in church. I don't even know what to think about this comment!

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 12:50pm

It may be time to look for a new doctor.

The baby can catch something without being touched. A simple sneeze or cough from someone across the room could cause the baby to have a runny nose.

TheBrightSide's picture

Submitted by TheBrightSide on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 1:47pm

Could it be you're using your premie as an excuse not to have your SD in your house...period?