For those of you who know my story, I finally agreed to go back to counseling. So this time I went to the skids counselor with my husband. I thought before hand that I would keep my mouth shut and see what he had to say. I was pretty convinced from the things I had heard about the sessions with BM, DH and skids that this counselor may not be seeing things as they really are.

The last time DH went to counseling with the kids. BM sat in between the kids on the couch while DH sat in a chair opposite of them. Metaphorically, I think it says it all. (yes my opinion all along is PAS) So this time. DH asked the counselor if BM could not participate in this session so that he would have alone time to talk to the kids. So....when the kids arrived, the first thing SD said is, "Dad, keeping Mom away isn't going to change our opinions". Why couldn't Bm just keep her mouth shut and say this time you are going alone with Dad, and support it?

Since my step kids are older, and since they refuse to come over or be nice to their little sister, my 2 year old with their dad (for those of you who don't know), I feel like I'm raising an only child. It pains me so much. As a child myself I always believed that it wasn't a good thing to grow up without siblings. I've had a couple of miscarriages trying to have another, and frankly I think I might have missed the boat. I'm 43.

I have no idea what I am doing anymore. DH came home from counseling today with the ex and kids, bad bad bad. I don't even want to go into the details. I just don't know what to do anymore. I told my husband tonight that I didn't want to go to counseling with the kids. They apparently said I should attend. Why? So they can tell me they don't like me, that I am emotionally abusive, that I am a bad mother and a bad person. That is what they told him tonight. I am not those things and just because they have been given license to say their mind doesn't mean I should have to listen.