justthegirlfriend13's Blog
Never able to compete with Skids & BM
I've been a lurker here for quite some time and have posted in the past. I am completely disengaged to the point that if I say more than 2 words to a kid when I am around SO and them, it's a shocker. I don't live with SO which makes it easier however although the kids are getting older and slightly easier to be in their presence, I still feel a sense that I will never be able to compete with them and/or BM and I'm not sure if it is normal or if I need to just get out now.
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Should I break up with him or is it me?
I'm considering leaving my nearly 7 year relationship with my boyfriend but worried I will regret it so I wanted to get some others opinions first. We've broken up once before for a week and got back together when we were able to come to an agreement, so I doubt it would happen again if we were to break up this time. Maybe its me being unreasonable?
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Those with grown bios and young skids....
Is there anyone here that has grown bio-kids but younger skids? How does/did your DH/ SO take it in the fact that you have real world experience and practical advise? Do they still not care or do they really take your advice into account and just do what they want anyway?
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I can do it, I can do it...my motivation talk to myself for the day!
Only 3 more days until the brats go home! They have been with SO for only 6 days so far and I feel my blood pressure rising whenever I have to be around them. Its kinda funny because I bought an Apple watch and it has the heart rate feature that tracks my BPM every 10 minutes and I can literally watch it increase at night when I'm there!
Question about disengaging and birthday
I have been disengaged from SD12 and SSstb11 for a while now and my disengagement has just gotten more and more so where now the kids and I don't even really acknowledge each other and I don't say anything about them to their father. Luckily we don't live together, so I only really see them in my sight for a few hours eowe.
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Disengaged even more this weekend!
Hahaha, I've really just had enough. Previously, every other weekend that my SO has the kids, we would still plan to spend evenings together and mostly sit home on Friday and Saturday nights. We may switch houses were he comes to mine or I go to his, but we never plan outings, dinners, going out for drinks, etc. because the kids just HAVE to have a sleepover EVERY SINGLE FUCKING WEEKEND! When I was a kid, I was lucky to have a sleepover with friends maybe once a month? Skids and SO thinks of them as rights and not priveleges.
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Why is it never "because she's my girlfriend/ wife"?
SO and I were having a disagreement today and I'm always hearing from him "because they are my children". No matter what the reason this always comes up as an excuse. How come he never uses the "because she is my girlfriend/ wife/ partner/ SO/ whatever"?
Whenever it comes to telling the kids something, telling the ex something or just justifying anything to anyone he will never use that line but constantly throws out the " because they are my children" line.
He'll tell me that using me as a reason for anything to anyone else isn't enough of a reason.
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Hiding and being secretive about talking to ex!
Does anyone else have a DH/ SO that will not tell you when he is speaking to his ex or what its about...or one that will go in another room to talk or text her? Mine says that its because I get "bent out of shape" about it, but I've also tried to make it clear to him, that yes I may get aggravated that he is always giving into her (as thats the only time she calls is when she wants something), but I get even more pissed off when he hides it.
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I just don't get it....re: prioritizing
I consider myself a very analytical person and as such I really need to understand why something is being done, or not being done and I also learn by actually doing as I need to really grasp the idea behind something to get it. What I cannot understand for the life of me is how a man can not prioritize their partner in life/ wife/ SO and continue to put children first.
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Buying gifts for BM and vice versa
This topic came up the other day with BF and I wondered how others handled it. BF said SD was buying him a nice Christmas present and being that a 12yr old doesn't have any or much money, I assume that BM is paying for it, which is essentially BM buying a gift for BF. BF also said that, although the kids haven't asked him yet, he doesn't see a problem with him buying gifts for BM and just saying they are from the kids. He said even the courts agree as when they were getting divorced he had to go through a class and this was one of the topics they discussed.
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