I consider myself a very analytical person and as such I really need to understand why something is being done, or not being done and I also learn by actually doing as I need to really grasp the idea behind something to get it. What I cannot understand for the life of me is how a man can not prioritize their partner in life/ wife/ SO and continue to put children first.

I know this has been a topic that comes up regularly on forums over whether the partner or kids should come first but I am of the strong belief that you need to build a solid foundation with your partner to be able to be a proper parent. This is the person that you have chosen to be your 50/50 partner in life, to share hopes, dreams and daily living and activities with but yet most men still can't or don't want to prioritize this relationship! Do they just not understand the depth of a committed or vowed marriage or partnership? Maybe men don't place the same importance or significance on this relationship as women do?? Of course kids needs come first, but when it comes to deciding what a kid wants, vs what your partner wants, WHY, WHY, WHY do men choose the kids?? I really wish someone had an answer for me that I could understand because I have yet to figure it out and it stresses me out trying to analyze it.

So this is obviously a SK weekend for us and instead of SO telling the kids that they can't spend the night at their friends house (of which they get to do every other weekend) and also get to play with the friends during the entire daytime, SO allows one of the kids to spend the night at the friends, thus needing to rush home only after spending 2 hours with me on a Friday night for a friend's birthday party that had previously been planned to care for the younger one (SStb11). So, now who is getting the short end of the stick here? SO thinks that because he'll spend a few extra hours today or tomorrow with me, it makes up for it. I think that he is the adult/ parent and needs to put his foot down and not worry about disappointing the kids every so often, particularly when something like a pre-planned event is scheduled! I guess he just parents out of guilt just like all do, but for the life of me I cannot reason that!

It's not like he doesn't see the kids often enough...they are there eowe, 1-2 nights each week, multiple weeks during summer, holidays, spring break, etc. But because the kids have a want, instead of upsetting them, he'd rather upset me.

I don't expect anyone here to have the magic answer as I think we're all in the same boat, I guess I just needed to vent. Maybe if I could understand the reasoning more and "get it" myself I could accept it more, but as of now, all it's doing is driving a bigger wedge in between our relationship that he doesn't seem to care about.