I want to thank Steptalk for giving me insights into my dynamic with SD60 and practical suggestions.  She's a bipolar person who has always caused chaos in the entire family's life.  My DH84 loves his only daughter and has always enabled her. .She's been on disability for 7 years and has both physical and mental issues.

You all have heard me rant about my crazy, bipolar SD60.  She's made my life hell for years.

She's been laying low since the infamous car incident in November when she totaled her uninsured car and DH replaced it.  I could barely look at her or speak to her during that whole episode and I think she realized I was maxed out.  Christmas, normally the annual peak of her instability, was unusually quiet (thanks covid) but I knew it was just a matter of time.

I was rereading Captain Awkward's post about siblings, "Advice for Relationships You Dont Want To Lose But Dont Want To Work At" (#1182, #1183, #1184 3/4/19).   Some of her advice applies to troubled adult SK relationships.  

One excerpt that rang a bell with me:

"Adults are allowed to make choices about people that are informed by how they treat us and not everyone deserves our trust, our attention, our time, our focus, our benefit of the doubt."

I asked everyone what they thought would happen concerning SD60 and DH84's planned visit to DMV to register and transfer plates on the replacement car.  Her original car was totaled in an accident and she had let the insurance lapse.  The choices were 1) SD and DH would successfully register the car and transfer plates; 2) SD would be too unwell to go and postpone as long as possible; 3)  SD and DH would go but SD would be late and not have all the documents.