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"Acts of Kindness in Divorce" courtesy of HuffPo

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Submitted by isthisforme123 on Thu, 05/15/2014 - 2:52pm

I'll admit it, sometimes I cheat on Steptalk and read the Divorce section in HuffPo. This article really caught my eye. While I think the BM who wrote it was well-intentioned, and maybe it does work for her and her ex, the list here of "acts of kindness" you can do for your ex is just classic meddling BM behavior. For your entertainment, here they are:

1. Send a birthday cake to your ex's with your kids on his or her birthday

2. Send him or her an e-mail with a compliment-anything that he or she does well

Why are men so insensitive?

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Submitted by isthisforme123 on Fri, 02/28/2014 - 11:11am

So DH and I got some bad news on the fertility front a few days ago. I spent the night in our room crying. DH goes on as usual. Ok I get that we process things differently. Then last night skids are over. DH goes on and on about his friends new baby, how he went to the Briss, etc. of course skids had a bunch of questions about the baby, what a Briss was, so that went on for awhile. Then DH starts with SS telling him how similar their hair is, how much they look alike (I have seen pictures of DH at SS age and they are clones). I just got up and left the table.

According to DH, I'm not interested in kids.

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Submitted by isthisforme123 on Tue, 10/08/2013 - 5:39pm

DH: You talk all the time about the bios you want us to have.
Me: yeah
DH: But you seem wholly uninterested in kids.
Me: how so?
DH: well you weren't very enthusiastic on Saturday when we had 14 kids at the house.
(4 Skids invited friends over without DH asking me, and I needed to work so did not come home until late)
Me: do I seem uninterested in my Dd16? (Who was not there)
DH: no
Me: so really you mean I'm uninterested in other people's kids
DH: (long pause) yeah I guess

Does your DH ask you before letting skids have sleepovers?

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Submitted by isthisforme123 on Fri, 10/04/2013 - 1:23pm

Step off's blog got me thinking... This weekend SS11 is having a friend over. SD12 is having several for sleepover as well. Add that to SD14 and SS16 and its a full house. I was informed of this last night. It didn't bother me at the time, so it's probably not a big deal. But I guess I do wish he'd run by me before he said yes to them.

Anybody out there have experience with NY child support?

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Submitted by isthisforme123 on Thu, 09/26/2013 - 1:43pm

Posting as a BM here. Long story but I have never filed for CS for DD16. I got a lot of help from my parents and we were ok. Fast forward, she's now 16 and I'm married to DH who has sizeable support obligations to his kids. We are just scraping by on our joint incomes. Meanwhile, my DD16's dad flies her first class to visit him.

O/T Does your DH talk to friends about marital problems? Do you?

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Submitted by isthisforme123 on Fri, 09/20/2013 - 2:07pm

So DH and I have been fighting lately. Big blow out on Sunday over his ongoing custody and support battles with BM. He left the house in a huff and did not return until Monday night. Said he slept at work but who knows? Anyway, he eventually apologized and we are good but... I know he talks to friends about our relationship, especially after big fights. I don't really do this as I think that stuff is private. I'd rather share anonymously on the Internet ;). So my question is, what's your take on airing the dirty laundry to friends? Healthy outlet or trust violation?

Reality check please!

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Submitted by isthisforme123 on Tue, 08/27/2013 - 10:33am

So DH and I got married a few months ago. We made his kids bridesmaids and groomsmen. I recently found out that one of our guests was sending BM pics of the kids (and who knows what else?) from our wedding. All the kids have smartphones and could have easily sent their mom pics. I have no problem with this. But a guest we invited? It feels like a betrayal. Am I being nuts?