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STEP CHILD Vs STEP PARENT

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Submitted by decofru on Fri, 09/13/2019 - 3:15am

I have always complained about the hardship and challenges that come with being a step mom then one day I asked myself if i could choose would i choose to be a step child or a step parent and after much thought my answer was I would choose to be a step parent and here are my reasons why:

If you could go back in time?

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Submitted by decofru on Mon, 08/05/2019 - 5:59am

If you could go back in time or if you knew then what you know now, would you still choose to be with men who have kids with the ex? I wouldnt!!! Yes i knew he had a child but i never knew how the child was like and how the child would become my biggest problem. I never knew all the never ending hardship and challenges i was signing up for. I have been facing issues i never even imagined, been battling with feelings i never thought i would have. You feel guilty, confused and evil for the resentment building in you.

LOVE IS NOT ONE SIZE FITS ALL

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Submitted by decofru on Mon, 07/22/2019 - 4:17am

To all bio parents judging step parents for failing to love your children and to all step parents who have been made to feel guilty for failing to love their step kids.

You don’t have to love your step kids you don’t owe them your love that is the legal obligation and duty of a bio parent and not a step parent. You only need to treat them with kindness, care and respect and that’s if they earn it.

UPDATE

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Submitted by decofru on Sun, 04/28/2019 - 6:23am

Hey guys its been long since i last posted well Im back. So last time i had said Skid moved in with his BM because he requested for that as he thought of me as abusive and all that crap all because he grew up being treated like a King never corrected or punished for his wrongs and his dad wanted everything done for him as if he is a cripple who cant do anything himself so i couldnt take that.

Those who have never read my blogs here is a summary of my story

For All Step Moms/ SS has moved in with BM

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Submitted by decofru on Fri, 08/31/2018 - 8:38am

So SS finally moved in with BM....Honestly i never thought this day would come and i still don't believe it, it feels like i am dreaming, tha'ts the one wish i have had for so long and i can't believe it has come true. BM had been refusing to pay CS or take in her one and only child for so long I don't know if God has given her a change of heart, but i  worry the arrangement might not last long, knowing BM, she just might come up with excuses of why she can't live with her son anymore or start problems somehow or demand things.

Just 2 questions

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Submitted by decofru on Wed, 08/22/2018 - 9:43am

 

1. What is it that you hate most about being a step mom? 

Is it taking on the motherly responsibilities of another woman (who is neither a friend or relative of yours?)

Co parenting with the bio mom and having to deal with her at all

Unrealistic expectations by the bio parent and the society

Being misunderstood and unfairly judged as the evil step mom

Having to tolerate the skids bad behaviour without the rights to lash out at them or punish them

Feeling used and unappreciated 

Starting to breathe and find peace

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Submitted by decofru on Mon, 08/20/2018 - 5:07am

Here is the thing, I have never wanted to be a step mom, i have always heard most step moms cry and complain of their many challenges, and besides that i honestly don't have the heart for it, just like i don't go clubbing because it aint for me. I am not okay with being responsible for and being inconvinienced or angered by another woman's child that i am not related to at all and i certainly wouldnt want them in my marriage, to me the child is just a reminder of DH's past relationship with another woman.

MIL acting like the manager in charge

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Submitted by decofru on Fri, 08/10/2018 - 6:00am

I don't know why she thinks she can do as she pleases in my home. I guess she thinks of the place as her son's house and her being the manager in charge. She clearly doesnt acknowldege me as the woman of the house. She calls her relatives to come over without telling me and i just hear the door bell ring and i wont even be prepared for guests. Am i wrong to expect her not to ask but to at least tell me who she has asked to come, so I can dress up and look presentable and make certain we have snacks to offer the guests and not to be taken by surprise while still in my pyjamas.

I WILL B HONEST, I HATE HIM

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Submitted by decofru on Tue, 08/07/2018 - 4:18am

I live with a step son who is spoilt, he thinks the world revolves around him, he wants to be the centre of attention, he doesnt want NO for an answer, everything he wants he must get or else he literally cries. He lies, twists statement, he is a deceitful manipulative rude lil brat, Things that come out of his mouth are shocking. I cannot stand looking at him, his mere presence annoys me so much, the sound of his voice and laugh irritates me. My gosh he is just like his mother character wise and it doesnt help that he looks exactly like his mom, whom i hate so much.

DH is delusional SS v My MOM

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Submitted by decofru on Wed, 08/01/2018 - 1:50am

So instead of staying home to baby sit SS (soon to be 11) I chose taking BS (9months) and going to visit my mom and she is always happy to see her grandson and am always happy to spend time with my mom, away from annoying SS. I did not expect to be given grief over that by DH. He said I have a family now and my family comes first before my mother. Yes he is correct, DH was at work and i took BS with me so who did i push back by going to see my mom? SS!!!!

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