daysleeper's Blog
SO not listening to my advice and potentially making a giant mistake - time for disengagement mantra.
DS is not my child.
I am not responsible for overcoming her previous "raising."
I am not responsible for what kind of person she is.
I am not responsible for what kind of person she becomes.
I am not obligated to become an abused member of the household just because I got together with her dad.
I am not responsible for raising SD.
All the responsibility belongs to SO.
SO is not a mother.
SO is not going to raise SD the way I want him to. (THIS IS THE BIGGEST ONE RIGHT NOW.)
Too long, no blog - almost broke up with SO, so I'm back here!
SO went through some crazy mid-life crisis and had several reasons for wanting to leave me, all of which were patently ridiculous. However, he did cite my attitude toward SD as one of those reasons. WHOOPS. Things used to be better before I stopped venting on here and started resenting out in the open. Guys, looks like I'm back.
Apparently we "ruined" SD's hair.
Last August, we went and got SD's hair cut. She loved it, and she had fun going to the salon (a hip place called Birds Barbershop, which is kind of quirky and fun and very hip). Well, now that BM has popped out another sprog, her sister and mother are in town. Tonight, SD told SO on the phone that she couldn't go to Birds anymore because "barber shops aren't for little girls, they're for men". SO explained that it was just the name of the salon, and that Birds is for everyone. SD replied, "They ruined my hair." :jawdrop:
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Skid ruins everything.
So, this week, we have SD from tonight until Friday morning, because BM had to have another sprog and she doesn't trust her baby daddy's parents with SD. So now, my week is going to get highly disrupted by her presence. I have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so it won't be so horrible - I believe I'll make some plans for tomorrow night as well. But because I had class, SO thought he'd take SD to a "kids eat free" place for dinner, leaving me with no dinner at all. Wonderful. I'm just so pissed.
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Stepmonster strikes again, apparently
We purchased a new couch this afternoon. Naturally, with that, we had to move our old couch into the garage until we could get it sold or bulk collections takes it away. There was a lot of opening and closing of the front and back doors as we were moving things in and out, and we told SD to stay either upstairs, in the kitchen, or in the dining room until we were done. Naturally, she decided not to do that, and was standing directly in front of the front door as I swung it open. The door hit her hard in the face. She told me that she was okay, then went to go cry in her room.
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I finally did it. I contacted CPS.
I don't know if anything will even become of it. After BM left SD sick with a sinus and ear infection for over a week before finally taking her to the doctor at SO's request, I said that enough is enough. I filled out a form with every awful thing that BM has done, and I filed it with CPS. It felt good just to get everything out, even if nothing becomes of it.
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BM's crazy family and how they tried to ruin Christmas
The custody arrangement for Christmas is that the week up to and including Christmas Day and on into noon on the 26th, one parent has SD. On the 26th at noon until school resumes after New Year’s Day, the other parent has SD. SD gets two Christmases, one on the day, and then one at noonish on the 26th when she comes to the other parent’s house. Well, this year, we get the first half, since we had the second half last year.
I like the idea...
I've had an internal struggle going on for awhile now about what it is that I feel for SD6, exactly. When I'm discussing her with SO, and especially when we're brainstorming for ideas on how to make her the most enriched person that she can be (no help from BM on that one, of course), I'm like a stepmommy supergoddess. When SD is actually here, I just don't even want to be around her because she annoys the shit out of me so much.
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Am I missing something...?
So, I've been reading others' accounts of their relationships with their skids, and I feel like I might be doing something wrong...
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A confession.
This past Thursday night, we had SD6 like we always do on Thursdays. BM's birthday was on Saturday, so SO and SD made a batch of sugar cookies together to give to BM. While they were baking, SO got SD's bedtime routine started, and asked me if I could take the cookies out to cool while he read her stories etc. I said sure, no problem.
I absolutely licked the shit out of the back of every one of those cookies.
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