3 days to go
...DH couldn't say no. "It would be worse if she didn't go, this is the better option."
Then tried to gaslight me for not "being supportive" of his decision.
But I held strong, did not agree, reiterated that I will not put up with a crap attitude and that it's up to him to inform his sister. And I will not put on a fake smile and pretend all is wonderful, but I will not let it ruin my trip.
Effing Disney.
Of course she could just not show but I think she will be there.
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I figured he’d take her. I
I figured he’d take her. I don’t really understand why he pretended to be considering otherwise.
I called him out on that
I called him out on that about two weeks ago. Told him why is he bothering, that she's going no matter what. He denied, denied. I kind of figured deep down she would go. Which is why I have been very clear about my boundaries on this trip. He thinks I am being over dramatic, but nope, not my deal.
I'm guessing the kids won't
I'm guessing the kids won't go by BM's urging, which will be even more sad for him. I hope that's not true, but she seems like a very subtle manipulator and the fact that she wants YSD the night before the trip would set off alarm bells in my head. I'd discuss with DH that possibility and how he will deal with it.
Of course
if she does go, let DuH (like that term, thanks to SNTSCC)escort her around and cater to her. Perhaps you can go to a nice bistro and find a lovely child-free man to flirt with. Let DuH be boyfriend to his mini-wife while you pick up an impromptu tour or enjoy yourself with the amenities at the lodgings.
The important thing is to be the director of your own fun while DuH deals with the miserable, jaded, entitled, thankless cuss he and BM created.
Oh yeah, I have made that
Oh yeah, I have made that clear!
Worse if she didn’t go... oh
Worse if she didn’t go... oh dear lord. I figured he’d do this too, good luck with that DuH! Princess hasn’t even handled a lunch together well but I’m sure a trip abroad will be totally fine...
Where are you going again Cover? Would you be comfortable doing your own thing for a few hours if/when OSD & her attitude become too much?
Freaking England. I've
Freaking England. I've already arranged to meet up with a friend. And I warned DH that if OSD is a miserable pita then I do things on my own.
No wonder SD does what she
No wonder SD does what she pleases. I wouldn't go, I'd enjoy a nice staycation. That trip is going to be vomit inducing with all the ass-kissing.
Yes! No one EVER (but me)
Yes! No one EVER (but me) tells her no. DH even knows this and said it himself. It's disgusting.
Totally get it Cover.
Totally get it Cover.
If he doesn't take her, BM will ramp up and convince her once and for all that daddy doesn't love her and has moved on with his "new wife" and his kids are just an inconvenience to him, blah, blah, blah...
If he does, she will be a PITA but at least BM won't be in her ear all week trashing him and he hops that means he will have a shot at having a relationship with her.... even if it is one that he is paying for on multiple levels.
Thereis no win in these situations. I don't even think there is a "right thing". Everyone loses.... it doesn't matter what you do.
...and exactly why it's hard
...and exactly why it's hard as a SM. We have zero say in how kids are raised and then this sort of thing happens, again no say. I think he literally wanted me to put on a happy face and pretend all was good for him. I said out loud I wouldn't do that...no pretend happy family for me.
That's all we can do. I did
That's all we can do. I did the same thing with DH- told him not to pretend like everything was great and we are one big happy family. DH understood. He knew the plan would be to remove SS if he caused anyone any issues and he wasn't going to expect me or the other kids to put on fake faces. Luckily for us, SS didn't show. Maybe you will still get lucky too.