O/T question about teenage boys
I'm wondering if this is normal teenage boy behavior. Our backyard neighbor has 2 teenage boys. We live on a slope with our house being on the high side. Due to the line up of the houses on the slope, the bedroom window of one of the boys is very visable from several windows, our deck and our backyard. This is particularly the case when it is dark outside and the bedroom light is on. We are also in a new development, so none of the trees or bushes are very tall yet. The back door neighbors happen to be the daughter/son in law and grandkids of A now-retired former co-worker of DH's. A co-work that DH hated and that made DH's work existence miserable for about 10 years until the guy retired. We built and moved into the neighborhood first and the backyard neighbor built 6 months later. We had no idea of they were related to the awful former co-worked until he showed up as part of the move in force for the new neighbors. In addition the boys are students at the high school DH's teaches at and DH is an incredibly private person.
The problem: several months ago DH and I happened to be in the backyard with the dog when the light in neighbor boy's bedroom when on and we were treated to a very visible full backside moon as the kid attempted to dig around in his closet.
DH was furious and wanted to immediately alert all the neighbors to the fact we had a pervert in our midst and alert the parents. I talked him down from alerting the sex offender registry and suggested we just talk to the parents and advise them of the incident and suggest a talk with the boy about blinds. IMHO, the kid made the dash from the bathroom to his room in the nude, no intentional mooning, and who hasn't also made that dash? I had the chat with neighbor dad, he says he will talk with son. We have a laugh about boys will be boys.
Fast forward. No further incidents for many months. We plant a pine tree that we hope will grow to block the offending neighbor boy bedroom sometime. We aren't close to these neighbors, but I have tried to be friendly as I don't think they are to blame for the sins of the offending former co-worker. DH just avoids any interactions with them.
Until tonight... DH is in the backyard with the dog when the bedroom light goes on. Neighbor boy is lounging on his bed in only his shorts. We can clearly see him and everything in his room from the backyard and our windows. DH blows up! We need to move, he hates the house, hates this kid, he thinks the kid is doing it on purpose, we have to buy a 20 ft pine, the kid. Is creepy and a pervert.
I check and yes, blinds open, kid on bed shirtless, can see right in. By the time DH finishes his rant, I go to take a picture so I can show the parents what we can see and the light is now off.
While I don't like the situation with the window, but it just isn't as big a deal to me. I can wait for the pine to grow and for the kid to move out in a few years. I like our new house and we designed all of it. I had brothers that in the teen years liked showing off their muscles and I don't mind revisiting the blinds with the parents and even having them come to our house to see just how much we can see in the window when the light is on and it is dark outside.
DH is convinced it is personal or that the kids is a creepy pervert. He keeps asking what I would do if it were a girl. I guess I think a girl hanging out in bra and panties would be more serious than a boy shirtless. Double standard? Not sure, but doesn't seem pornigraphic to me.
So stalkers with teen boys, is this normal behavior? Should I talk to the parents, just buy a bigger tree, or help DH pack to move?
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Comments
We have lived in the country
We have lived in the country so long I go feed my chickens in my underwear. Idk what anyone thinks. My son NEVER wears a shirt and his 13 y/o brain has to be remined all the time to put on a shirt. I don't think it's a big deal, but like I said I'm a country girl so maybe neighbor kid doesn't know ppl can see him???? Maybe if YOU TELL HIM he will be embarrassed and shut his shade....?
Eta: I feed my chickens in my underwear and muck boots picture that shit....
I can relate to this. I can
I can relate to this. I can see 1 neighbors garage and the other neighbors houses only when the leaves have fallen. I sit on the deck in my panties to tan, have no curtains or blinds, and run around my house inappropriately clothes myself.
Sometimes I'm in a hurry
Sometimes I'm in a hurry
don't judge DB
Lol turd next time I'll take
Lol turd next time I'll take a selfie and send it to ya
This kid is in his home. Your
This kid is in his home. Your DH is overreacting and needs to calm down.
He is not a pervert. Hell....I do all of my morning stuff naked nearly every day, before I open the blinds. Then I either get dressed and go work out or hop a shower. In your H's eyes, this makes me a pervert.
ETA - You could get into a shitload of trouble by taking a photo of near naked teen boy in his room. You may want to delete.
What they do in their own home is no ones concern. In fact I'm willing to bet the teen doesn't even give a crap about your H.
Exactly what everyone else is
Exactly what everyone else is saying. Your DH is making himself look bad by making such a big deal of it. And he's a teacher??? He could lose his job of the parents accuse him of peeping on their son!
Take a step back and realize
Take a step back and realize you were going to take a picture of an underage boy in his own room because your husband can't deal with Fruit of the Loom. Good effing grief.
My teenager is constantly in
My teenager is constantly in his underwear while he lounges in his bedroom. Its normal.
With that being said, its also normal for teen boys to NOT think about details of a window blind being left open. They just dont think about stuff like that.
Tell you're husband to look
Tell you're husband to look the other direction. Taking pictures of a minor through his window of him in his underwear is actually really creepy IMHO. You're husband is going to find himself locked up and labeled a sex offender at this rate.
Totally normal. In fact, if
Totally normal.
In fact, if I was that teen boy, and saw you guys looking at me, I would pull out my wardrobe and ask you guys to help me decide what to wear. But then again, the jury is out on whether or not I was a normal teen boy.
No offense but it sounds like
No offense but it sounds like your DH has a SERIOUS problem. The kid is oblivous to what is going on, I'm sure. Why is your DH staring through the window anyways? I live on a culd de sac and the house across from me, sometimes has their blinds over. I make it a point to NOT look into their windows.
This is normal. I have 3
This is normal. I have 3 boys, ages 16, 15 and 11stb12. My husband and I have the downstairs master bedroom. The kids have the whole upstairs to themselves; 3 bedrooms and a bathroom. This is their domain. I am the only female in the house so I have to be careful when I run from my bathroom to the bedroom (no one wants to see mom naked). However, the boys do run around with towels on after their showers and they run around in boxers without a shirt on. I have not seen them naked since they were very young but running around in boxers without a shirt doesn't bother me. My husband has been seen by the boys in pajama pants without a shirt as well. We are all comfortable with this. As long as I don't see their genitals, I am ok with this. This is their home and they are comfortable. I see guys walking around without shirts all the time on hot days as we live close to a park. This is socially acceptable. I don't see a difference between men in their home wearing boxers as opposed to regular shorts.
I believe your neighbor would've been embarrassed had he known you and your DH saw his naked rear end. I'm guessing he had no idea. In regards to him lounging around with shorts on and no shirt, I do not see this as a problem. This is not perverse nor sexually deviant behavior. I think your DH was tortured at work by the neighbors relative and perhaps this bad experience is causing him to react the way he did. I think the simple solution is for you to talk to your neighbor and to be friendly about it. I would encourage your DH to just not look at the house or in the window. If it bothers him that badly then he should just try to ignore it.
I highly recommend that you delete that picture ASAP. I am concerned that you might get in trouble if you show it to the neighbors and they report to the authorities that you are a peeping Tom. I know that's not your intention. You are trying to be helpful and please, please don't be offended. I am not trying to criticize you in any way , shape or form. It's just that people can be ultra sensitive and might take it the wrong way. You're just trying to use the picture to be helpful but you never know how the neighbor would react.
I hope you all can work this out. It sounds like you have a lovely home. It would be a shame to let this incident destroy your love for your home.
Good luck!
Amber
Just a clarification, the
Just a clarification, the picture did NOT get get taken because the incident was over by the time I had the thought to show them what we could see. I think I will just ask the parents to open the blinds to that room, turn on the light and then ask the parents come over and view it from our house and yard. It will probably accomplish what the picture would show.
The window is in credibly poorly placed. It is a pretty big bedroom window and very close to our fence. Due to the slope it sits just above our fence even though it is on their 2nd floor. When the light is on, it is like a big screen TV of the kid's room. It is hard not to see in when he does this or notice it. You can't sit on our patio and have it not be right in your line of sight.
Thanks for the feedback. I think the kid is normal, but we don't need this to be a regular issue. So I guess I buy a huge pine tree or mention to the parents again that blinds (in addition to fences) make good neighbors. Having never been a teenage boy or having any male kids or skids, I wanted to verify and have evidence to convince DH to chill out.
Naked happens. Not on purpose
Naked happens. Not on purpose either. My old neighbor saw me buck naked - tell your husband it could be worse, he could have neighbors like me... Muhahaha. (I avoided neighbor completely for at least six months after that. I was SO embarrassed.) Your DH needs to chill the f out.