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Skids decide which house they want to be at and DH okay with it

blending2012's picture

Okay, how would you all feel about this? Lately, one or more of my skids will decide that they want to come to our house on a night they're supposed to be with their mother. Excuses range from "it's hot at mom's house" to "I don't like what mom's cooking". Similarly, there are times when they're supposed to be at our house and decide to go to mom's instead. Again for various reasons. I have three step kids. Sometimes just one will decide to deviate from the visitation, sometimes two of the three, sometimes all of them. And I never know because it's totally on their whims.

Four years of marriage, husband doesn't seem to notice me at all except for the one night we don't have the kids.

blending2012's picture

Even though I am married, I have never felt so alone. My husband and I have 5 kids between us and we both work full time. We are both very busy working, driving kids here and there, taking care of the house, etc. However, in just 4 short years I have noticed the following changes in how he treats me:

Disengagement tip needed for specific situation

blending2012's picture

Hi all. Long time, no post! Quick reminder of my situation: I have 2 bios and 3 steps. I adore two of my steps and the other one is the devil. She is insanely mean and her dad is always making excuses for her. Same story you've read on here a hundred times.

Anyway, I've totally disengaged from her (she's fifteen) - she doesn't acknowledge I exist, so I do the same. I never do her laundry, cook for her, buy her anything, etc. However, I need help figuring out how to tackle disengagement with a very gross issue.

Fakebook

blending2012's picture

Okay, before I start my rant I'm just going to admit that I am one of those stupid SMs that accepted a friend request from BM. My reasoning was something along the lines of "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer". I keep her hidden from my feed, but sometimes when I am feeling masochistic, I check in on her page. Here are some pieces of bullshit I discovered last night:

Denial, I don't get it

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Yesterday I pointed out to DH that our garage door has several BALL SIZED punctures in it... spots where the wood has been caved in. SD15 hits the volleyball against the garage door (using it as a back board). All I said was "wow, look at all these dents in the garage caused by a ball. looks like we're going to have to have it replaced at some point." << Notice I didn't say ANYTHING about SD15.

Him: "we don't know know those were caused by a ball" :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:

Are there any members here who have their own kids and decided to leave?

blending2012's picture

I have two children and married a man that has three children 3 years ago. Of our 5 combined children, three are doing great but he and I don't see eye-to-eye on the other two.

In my opinion, his oldest daughter is not a nice person and he lets her get away with way too much bullshit. In his opinion, my youngest is the problem.

Because of all of the fights, drama, and lies, I can honestly say I don't love this man anymore. If it weren't for my kids, I would have left within the first 6 months.

the great room sharing debate and how DH "solved" it

blending2012's picture

Okay background: we have 5 kids between us. he has 3 (2 girls and 1 boy) and I have 2 boys. I have primary custody of mine (they visit their dad EOW) and he has 50/50 custody. When we got married 3 years ago, we bought a house and tried to get the most number of bedrooms we could find - which wound up being 5. This meant that 2 kids would have to share. To be fair, we said that we would rotate the sharing every year.

Year one: my son and his son shared. Year two: my TWO sons shared - and all 3 of his kids got their own rooms even though they are with us fewer nights.

okay, which of your step kids did I see at the grocery store Friday??

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I went grocery shopping alone on Friday and while I was there a nice mommy was pushing her carriage with 2 little ones - maybe ages 4 and 6? They were asking her, "mommy WHY do we have to go to daddy's house on Christmas? We want to be with you!".

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