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Removal of Spousal Support

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Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Wed, 02/27/2013 - 11:05am

FDH pays spousal support to BM. Per the original agreement, it will last for another few years unless BM gets married. It also says "this is unchangeble". BM just announced she will be moving herself and the kids in with her boyfriend soon. I've heard of cases where co-habitation is considered like marriage and spousal support has been revoked. I am hoping he'd have a case for that here. Right now, it's not a lot per month that he pays but if his pay goes up by a couple thousand dollars per year (which it will), her support $ goes up almost 10x. It would kill us.

Really FDH? I'm the adult here

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Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 02/21/2013 - 12:16pm

So we've been battling over bed time for the SKs, primarily SD11. She is not in school now and is doign her lessons at home because of her "anxiety". As I posted last night, she was up at 1030 (30 minutes passed bed time) and I asked FDH why. He said "She told me BM changed her bedtime to 11". I told him that was ridiculous and asked what BM's bedtime has to do with the rules of our house. He went and told her to go to bed.

It's 12:15 AM, Do You Know Where Your Step Kid Is?

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Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Wed, 02/20/2013 - 11:21pm

Mine was supposed to have a 10PM bedtime. Still awake. Finally in bed since 11:35 with the lights out, but still awake. Guess who isn't getting any nookie tonight, darling.

FML

PS. I was told tonight at 10:30 that BM changed her bedtime to 11 during the week. Um, what? And why? And WTH does that have to do with our home and our rules?

PPS. I have 2 full, handwritten pages tonight of stuff I want to discuss with the new couples counselor. 25% of it is dedicated to my thoughts on "Why Bedtime for SD11 is Important". Seriously.

I did something right

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Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Tue, 02/19/2013 - 4:18pm

As I've mentioned, I am a mother to a 22 year-old son who I raised alone from birth. He now lives an hour away and we have a nice relationship. (He lives in the town I lived in before I moved to live with FDH). When BS was young I dated when I could and always thought I'd marry. But when he hit his teen years, I realized that hadn't happened yet and my son didn't need some man walzing into his life telling him what to do at that point and no man would've wanted to deal with him and his gaggle of friends that practically lived at my house. So I stopped dating for his remaining years (HS).

Irritated About Valentine's Day

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Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 02/14/2013 - 2:59pm

A few days ago, FDH asked me if I'd like to go out to dinner or if he should cook me a nice dinner for Valentine's Day. I was surprised going out was an option ($$) but said that yes, I would really prefer to go out. The next day he emails stating that he thinks we shouldn't go out because he's low on cash, has to pay for SD's doctor appointment and that he doesn't get paid until Friday. I told him that was not nice to get me all excited and then take it away. He was sorry.

What does bedtime mean to you?

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Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Fri, 02/08/2013 - 4:13pm

I've come to realize that FDH and I have two different interpretations of bedtime. I think that when SD11's 10PM bedtime comes around, that means she should be in bed. Teeth brushed, pajamas on, lights out... BED. He seems to believe that's when you tell the kid to get ready for bed.

The problem with this disconnect is that SD11 doesn't like to go to bed. So the drama starts at freaking TEN PM and lasts usually at least 30 minutes to an hour. Last night, she walked into the living room whining for Dadeeeeee (who had nodded off sitting straight up on the couch)at midnight.

I am so nervous and irritated- $$

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Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Tue, 02/05/2013 - 2:25pm

Background: FDH has 4 kids and I have one who is grown. FDH pays an enormous amount in alimony and CS monthly. Before I met him a couple years ago, he was laid off and then underemployed then laid off again. He had just started his new good job when I met him. Due to the issues at the time, he is now paying significant back CS in addition to his already huge amount. He is BROKE. If we do something fun, I pay for it. Dinners, entertainment, etc... and I end up paying for way more than I should in the household. Basically, I am getting the brunt of this situation.

Parenting Plan Blown Day One and Two- Unbelievable but Shouldn't Be Surprised

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Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Thu, 01/24/2013 - 11:04pm

FDH and ex-wife attended the “parenting plan” meeting with FSD11’s new counselor on Tuesday night. Her main issue is that she is defiant (for various reasons) and that has now translated into her not going to school much. She’s basically a truancy case at this point. She always goes the day after she stays here the one day during the week (also here EOW but not relevant for school). I was very hopeful that they finally had her in counseling and that maybe, just maybe, a strong counselor could teach them how to set limits with this child.

This looks like progress!

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Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Tue, 01/22/2013 - 10:55am

I am starting to see that some of this work has paid off.

When we first moved in together 8 months ago, I made an agreement with my company that I would work from home as the new house is over an hour away from my office. My FDH thought this was great and I soon realized why. Once summer hit, he decided it would be a good idea to have the kids here more so they weren’t just sitting around the BM’s house all day. He thought it would be lovely to have them here swimming in the pool, etc…

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