I did something right
As I've mentioned, I am a mother to a 22 year-old son who I raised alone from birth. He now lives an hour away and we have a nice relationship. (He lives in the town I lived in before I moved to live with FDH). When BS was young I dated when I could and always thought I'd marry. But when he hit his teen years, I realized that hadn't happened yet and my son didn't need some man walzing into his life telling him what to do at that point and no man would've wanted to deal with him and his gaggle of friends that practically lived at my house. So I stopped dating for his remaining years (HS). As soon as he graduated and moved out, I started dating.
Two years ago I met FDH and his 4SKs. My son thinks it's pretty hilarious that I am in this situation. A couple months ago he said "man, you must really love FDH to put up with all of that craziness with the kids adn that BM"
I visited him last week and it suddenly dawned on him that if timing was different that he could have been living amongst steb-sibs. His eyes lit up and he said "OMG, Mom, thank you for not having all this step stuff going on when I was still living with you! I can't even imagine how that would've been." I told him that was by design and he was so thankful. Really, that was the best decision I ever made for the both of us. And that was even before I had any idea how hard this could be. So glad I made at least one good decision! Sadly, I can't think of any men who would risk their own lonliness so they don't have to drag their kids and new SO through hell.
- Anne Boleyn's blog
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Comments
Awww, thanks. I seriously
Awww, thanks. I seriously doubted it during those rough high school years. And actually had to work really hard to reign him in after I over-indulged him out of guilt (no dad, my crazy career). Had to change my own behavior (hint, hint FDH). He rebelled and was a PITA for a couple of years. Now he's lovely.
Thanks. My house was nuts for
Thanks. My house was nuts for a few years. My son had so many friend with problem parents that they really needed a place to be. His best friend spent every weekend and more with us since the time he was little. Even went on vacation with us. I pretty much had two kids. (They live together now as adults.) And now that I think about it in realtion to all this step stuff, I am realizing that I absolutely have the capacity to love other people's kids and treat them like my own. Hell, I did it for years and still treat the friend like he's one of my own. The kids aren't the problem in these situations. At all.
That's pretty awesome. SO
That's pretty awesome.
SO was raised alone by a single mom and she waited until he got married to bM (at age 25) to get married for the FIRST time which I think is just awesome. I know my oldest BS8 wishes he wasn't dealing with Step stuff.