12 days 'til Christmas and I'm as tight as a freshly strung violin. Too much to do, not enough time to do it. I'm the ONE person at work who is swamped and somehow became the spearhead for decorating the damn office. Why? Apparently, no one else can think outside the bloody box and be CREATIVE. What.The.He!!.

Have Yourself A Boozy Little Christmas

Sung to the tune of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"

Have yourself a boozy little Christmas
Let your head be light
Hopefully the skids will soon be out of sight
Have yourself a boozy little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
Mentally, your troubles will be miles away

Nuttin’ for Christmas

Sung to the tune of "Nuttin’ for Christmas"

I punched a hole in every door;
Stepmommy snitched on me.
Poured stripper on the hardwood floor;
Stepmommy snitched on me.
I squished my gum into the rug;
Smashed my Daddy’s favorite mug;
Made my half-brother eat a bug;
Stepmommy snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
My bio Mommy will blow.
Dad’s broke from paying child support
Stepmommy ain’t sharin’ her dough.

APPLE-CRANBERRY CRISP

Topping
1 cup all purpose flour
1 cup old-fashioned oats
2/3 cup (packed) golden brown sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, cut into pieces, room temperature

Fruit
5 large Jonathan apples (about 2 1/2 pounds), peeled, sliced
4 Granny Smith apples (about 2 pounds), peeled, sliced
2 cups fresh or frozen cranberries
3/4 cup sugar
6 tablespoons all purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) chilled unsalted butter, cut into pieces