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SD6 is pushing my buttons!

Evil Step Witch of OZ's picture

Submitted by Evil Step Witch... on Tue, 04/12/2011 - 7:58am

Hi I'm new to this site, can't believe there are so many people out there that feel the same way as I do but I need some help.

My DS lives with my husband and I during school term then stays with her mother during school holidays. I have been in my DS life since she was 2.5, she doesn't remember life with out me.
Lately I have been getting angry with her over the little things like not listening, lying, doing what she wants when she wants. I talk to her every day about rules and why we have them but she just doesn't get it. When I ask her to do anything I get a death stare from her or she takes her sweet time to get things done. I have been taking things away from her, like her money box and her jewellery box and her fav dress's as punishment for not listening and following house rules. I looked at her a few weeks ago at the kitchen table and told her how beautiful she looked and she turned around and said I look like a pig. I felt so hurt. I try so hard with this girl to teach her right from wrong, to be nice to everyone, tell the truth no matter how bad it is, because I'm here to help even if I get cranky. I'm at the point where I just don't want to be around her anymore. I dread the mornings when I have to get her ready for school and I dread picking her up from school and most of the time I don't even want to give her a kiss good night. I know some people will think I'm a bad person and I guess thats fair enough but I want to stop feeling like this, thats why I'm writting this post. What can I do to stop disliking this little girl? I have no children of my own, had miscarriages and trying for a baby so I know this is part of the problem but not all.
Please help me.

Metal Head's picture

Submitted by Metal Head on Tue, 04/12/2011 - 9:57am

I feel for you. I have been in my SS's life since before he was a year old. He has never met his BF, because the jerk is in and out of jail for drugs, theft, etc. We were great for a while, but for whatever reason my DW decided to tell him about his "real" dad almost as soon as he could talk. Ever since then, I get nothing but disrespect from him, because I'm not his "real" dad so, therefore, I mean nothing apparently. It caused problems in our marriage because I didn't get any support in any of this. He was just allowed to do what he wanted, and because he was always super sweet in front of my wife, when I tried to say something to him about it, she'd always stick up for him, no matter what.
After many, many moons and conversations, she FINALLY walked in on him disrespecting me. She saw how hurt I was by it, and has actually started to take my side, although it still happens to this day. He's now 8 years old.
The only thing I can say is try your best to shower her with kindness. When she is older, hopefully she will see that, even though she treated you horribly, you were still a great mom to her. I only wish that my SS sees it that way eventually. They are just at that age where they are confused and jealous and whatnot.

BTW, I truly hope you are blessed with a child of your own soon.

Frustration's picture

Submitted by Frustration on Tue, 04/12/2011 - 10:17am

I know exactly how u feel, I did everything for my SD since she was 4. She is a good kid, but sometimes even smallest things she does really upsets me. And it got to the point that I don't want to be around her anymore. I don't know how to stop feeling this way. I am thinking of counselor because sooner or later I'm afraid that it will start affecting my marriage. I really feel for you. I'm dealing with the same. Hang in there