Just venting. I'm so frustrated and angry. I have two step kids, SD156 and SS16. Both were angels (sort of) until they reached their teen years. Their father is a deadbeat and I have supported them and their mother financially for the better part of the last 8 years. Last year SD15 attempted suicide over her boyfriend, we found numerous sexually explicit letters and photos in her room. We were estranged for a couple of months because we did not condone her relationship with her then boyfriend, she lives with her father now. She has recently been visiting us again and things were going ok. I was asked by SD yesterday if her 2 friends could come over and I said that was fine as they are all girls. Only to find out later in the day that her new boyfriend was also there and that her mother had said it was ok. All unsupervised as we are at work all day. I wouldn't have found out he was there if he hadn't accidentally called me to get a code to get out of the property, poor kid (he is a good kid but having them there together unsupervised... hell no!). When I confronted my partner about it she said she basically doesn't care what I say as she made the decision and that I needed to get over it. Having unsupervised teenaged boys in my house is not something I am comfortable with especially after what SD did last year. I've just had it. To top it all off the SS has also been diagnosed with depression and after months of suicidal thoughts etc I told my partner that I wasn't comfortable leaving him on his own and that he was to stay with his father when we weren't home. That lasted for a week. He got sick and she let him stay home alone for an entire day regardless of my concerns. My relationship is in tatters. I wonder if it ever was whole or if I just imagined that it was. I don't recognize my partner anymore. I want out but they rely on me financially. We have been fighting non-stop and there has been no intimacy for months. My partner doesn't see any fault in her behaviour and cannot discuss anything with me rationally. I feel like I am just the atm and transport for them.

I realize the reason for the state of the relationship is not the step kids fault but my partner's lack of parenting and my lack of setting clear boundaries. I'm in this mess now, I put myself here but now I can't see a way out or even through. I don't think we can fix this.