cant get over it
Hello Everyone... Im having a very difficult issue that will not allow me to move on or let go. Ive been married for a very short while he has 2 bio kids and one step-step daughter whom hes raised since she was 2 sue to court issues this was the only child he had a relationship with and because shes an adult (shes 19). My problem is that she was very clingy to him always throwing herself on him. If we were sitting on the couch she would come and sit next to him throwing her legs on his lap when shes wearing a dress. She would always talk about her breast in front of him or to him. Shes told me that hes a sex addict and needs to have sex every night in order for him to be happy, I was waiting for her to tell me what was his favorite position too. Everything was competetion for her if I said I was making a certain dish for dinner she would say "dad isnt mine the best". She wanted to know everything that was going on between us (sexually) she asked him if we were sleeping together and ofcourse he answered every question without even thinking about "OUR" privacy and then she would come to me and tell me "my dad tells me that you and him are having sex already" It got to a point where I got mad at him for telling her everything and at her for thinking she was in full control but then again she was only doing what she was allowed to. When i first met him he told me that he was not allowed to have anymore children cause she didnt want him to. She once told me that she was the queen he dad was the king and I was just the princess.:?. Then she went on to say that my daughters got on her nerves and they annoyed her. I told my husband (boyfriend at the time) to please talk to her and tell her shes wrong for saying the things shes saying he said he would and never did until he said he sisnt want to talk to her on certain days of the week cause he didnt want to ruin her day. When he proposed she came over he showed her my ring and she did not like the idea that he was marrying me, she has not talked to him since weve been married (its been 3 months now) he has not contact with her she has disconnected her cell and removed her facebook account. However Im left feeling betrayed by him and hatred towards her. How do I get over this?
I guess I'm kind of surprised
I guess I'm kind of surprised this guy found a woman to marry him. I don't think she's out of his life for good. She'll be back.
Am I correct, SHE'S a stepdaughter? So, no blood relation?
I have to ask why did you
I have to ask why did you marry him - if my DH ever discussed our sex life with his son - there would be big trouble - unfortunately she will be back and you will have to deal with it - good luck you are going to need it!!
You don't get over this.
You don't get over this. Your H is the problem. Sounds like he's encouraging this and oddly flattered. Some men love to have "two women" in competition for them. It builds up their ego! Whether the two women be the BM and SM or SD and SM or in this case not even blood related and daddykins.
This is not healthy! If you tactfully address the situation and he dismisses you, then I'd rethink this hasty marriage as you are in for a life of hell! It's like getting married to a man who already has a wife and you are wife no. 2 (Which is what it's like ANYWAY when there's a psycho BM involved)
I can honestly say that I got
I can honestly say that I got carried away by my emotions (I come from an abusive relationship physically, mentally and emotionally) when he asked me to marry him... dont get me wrong I love him to death we have a great relationship as long as she doesnt come up in our conversation. Hes a good hearted person his problem was that he didnt talk to her for 3 years after divorcing her mom and when she became an adult and looked for him he was excited to have one of his kids back in his life and could not dicipline her because he was "afraid" she will leave and not talk to him again. He realizes now what he did was wrong and he shouldnt of told her anything. A week before we got married he told her that everything she said was not ok and she owed me an apology but nothing happened she just stopped talking to him. He talked to her after we got married and this time he told her that he did not want her calling him for help (money) until she apologized to me and thats when she disconnected her cell phone. My arguments with im now are about the "whats going to happen when she comes back" I told him I dont trust her around him alone, I dont want her around me or my kids. He says the more I tell him things that she told me or did reminds him of her mom and he divorced her for a reason and does not want that kind of person in his life.
To answer your question
To answer your question ReaRae, yes shes the ex-step daughter no blood relation.
Thats just insane!!!! Like
Thats just insane!!!! Like I'm seriously being honest here...sounds like she's in love with him! She's this young woman who's posessive and clearly not blood related so emotions can definitely be detoured in another direction. For him to accept this behavior is not right. Listen, women should never settle. Sometimes you find you have to...but don't. Always look at things at a bigger picture and this one right here is NOT good. You'll never find your perfect but when a SM or SD are in the picture now, there has to be an understanding and open communication to clearly speak and share anything with each other more so about the kids and conflicts. He's clearly unaware of his action before he takes them and respond to his ex-SD. Do not shine away reality with your emotions because that will bring even more resentment on what you already have.
believe me Acting_Matrigna I
believe me Acting_Matrigna I think the same shes an attention seeker and my husband is a big believer of "what kids hear about themselves determines their self esteem" so every time we would see her and he would say "honey thats a nice jacket" or "you look cute today" she would give me this look like saying "ha look hes paying attention to me". I became really close to one of my husbands cousins and I let her in on my feelings and she agreed she said she saw the same behavior before I came in the picture. When I confronted my husband about this at first he said I was crazy and defended her to the fullest but once I started telling him that it was not normal for a "daughter" to act this way towards the only father figure she knows and I set myself as an example (because I RESPECT my dad) then he started seeing where I was coming from and started understanding me. And on top of that she was very rude to him if he didnt do what she wanted him to she was verbally abusive towards him and to this he also would not say anything. I told him I love him with all my heart and it kills me to see someone treat him like she does and for him not to say anything.