I get SO tired of repeating myself 25x or more a day on simple tasks that need to be done. It's exhausting. It's annoying. And most of all it REALLY pisses me off after awhile. SS10 will be 11 in a couple weeks and still eats from his plate like a dog sometimes - If he thinks no one is watching. He knows I'll get onto him no matter if we're at home or a public place. Sorry, when I was being raised, table manners were a HUGE deal.
He "forgets" to do ANYTHING minutes after I tell him to do it, BUT if there's a stipulation like "bedtime is in 45 minutes and you must take a bath so use your time wisely" and he asks if he can play on the PS3 if he finished his bath soon enough, it's done in TEN MINUTES FLAT. Any other day it'd take 30-40 minutes. So basically, it's all on his time. And I'm done dealing with that attitude.
With my fiance's permission, agreement and input, we've started implementing a chore chart with a couple chores to do each day. If they are not done then either he gets more chores, earlier bedtime, or no TV, etc. Two times now I've had to get onto him for lying to me about doing the chores and going about his business. I've learned quickly (mind you, we just got full custody about two months ago after a very long and f*ed up situation with BM) that I have to monitor EVERYTHING. Which I think is ridiculous. He's going to be 11. Are my expectations too high?
Does anyone have any pointers? Motivators?
I've tried the whole reward thing... He wants to half ass them then ask immediately thereafter what his reward is or if he does anything to help then he asks what he's getting. He'll be quick to admit that he forgot to do something but when asked what the consequence of that was, he remembers exactly. The kid doesn't have memory problems, he has discipline problems. We aren't physically doing anything to him because, well, he's getting too old for that and he came from an abusive home.
Right now he's writing 50 times "I will do what I'm told the first time I'm asked". I warned him at least ten times that this would be his consequence if he repeatedly had to be told to do something.... And guess who put food in the dishwasher? Hmm.