SD13 says that she refuses to respect me because she thinks that means that she accepts me in her life. She says she has never liked me, doesn't like anything about me, and regrets saying yes to the adoption in 2008. She says she doesn't really feel like me or DH is putting pressure on her to accept me as a mom, just a parent, but she still feels like I am a replacement for her real mom. Every time we try to discuss the disrespect and issues going on in our home she just wants to go back to her issues with her BM. Here is the dilemma. She is at a residentional home with lots of visits home. She has made no progress in my eyes. We have had major setbacks due to her dishonesty and all of our resentments. They say they do not do 1on1 counseling and help her to deal with her past. She keeps telling us that she hates us, her life, etc because she won't forgive her BM so she is going to make all of us miserable. So if they aren't going to help her have closure, acceptance, etc with the abondonment issues of her past then how are we going to get the help we need so our family can heal and be happy??? She says she doesn't like to come home. She just wants to stay there all the time. I feel like she is hiding from reality, and she wants to stay to avoid dealing with everything, and we are going along with it because we like having a break from her drama. She has threatened that if we make her come home she will be bad and create more problems. Any input???